lizgeorjon

Was it the constant flow of champagne? Pas du tout! Are only beautiful people allowed on the island? Perhaps. I mean, just take a look at my group. 😎 The immutable-talker we met on the flight was no beauty pageant contender though. Aside from that tinnitus-exacerbating first hour, I’ve concluded everyone else on that island is a total stunner. Even the island itself is stunning! The hunt for a beach better than Cayman has finally been denuded. Literally. 😍 Clearly there’s a reason St Barths is not as easy to get to. All the stunning people want to keep the lazy un-stun-worthy out.

We’ve all flipped through an ‘US Magazine’ at some point in time and deemed St Barths as impervious amidst the world of celebs, yachts and P Diddy’s antics. It’s worth finding a way on to see for yourself. I am fucking stunned and highly recommend this fabulous destination. I truly think it does not get any better than Saint Barthélemy and in the words of my new dear friend: “well I wouldn’t mind dying here”. 😅 And after all the ‘Pound It!’ action, it’s a wonder none of us did.

St Barths is just barely difficult to get to, but worth every effort. For one, it’s French… and we all know that the French do it for me every time. The kraken-less turquoise clear ocean, dramatic verdure terrain, charming downtown, stunning population and gastronomic cuisine simply cannot be beat! These last three days are quite high on my best-ever list. And I’ve got only Jaj and the infamous Hôtel Le Toiny to thank. Oh yeah and #shoutout 😉 to Chris.

For what started out as a week filled with disappointment in myself and a bit of stress, St Barths, along with my posse of ‘all-baby siblings’, managed to get most everything envizagley wrapped up, chill the fuck out and seriously enjoy life like Adam Levine would have, had we not been loving life loudly at the table next to him at Bonito on Friday night. 😇 Rocking curly hair and a backless sweater, after touring what now are known to me as the worlds most beautiful beaches… my v own little posse of stunners hit the streets of Gustavia. Every which way we looked, all our jaws were dropped, with an inability to say much more than ‘heyyyyy’ and smile and giggle our nights (and days) away.

Shell Beach, Gouverneur Beach, Flamands, Colombier and Saline were the most gorgeous I’ve ever seen. Not to forget our Sex-on-the-Nikki-Beach and my v own Beach Boy at Tom’s. That was after our yacht excursion when our Sugar Daddy Stéphane made my ‘dreams come true’ with a roadie of rosé. Sigh… that was just yesterday. Le magnifique Hôtel Le Toiny proved that ‘stunning’ can be relaxed, natural and simply elegant devoid of pomp and circumstance, without giving up one ounce of luxurious perfection. No €35 SPF sunscreen 75 ml bottle for sale there! We were encouraged to explore the island as their globally famous clientele does, and left 100% ensured any one of our clients sent would thank us profusely for the rest of their stunning lives for having done so. Heyyyyy, Le Toiny with your stunning GMs and uncanny gorgeous staff… I could not be more grateful. I will rock my Peruvian St Barths bracelet proudly and forever be reminded of the most stunning place I’ve ever been, with the most ‘amazeballs’ people that I am proud, now, to call friends. I embrace my newest Milieu nickname: Lips Costello, will never mispronounce Shawneen’s name again, long for that hysterically innocent F-bomb and already miss the core-engaging boy who spit in my face: from a noodle. This trip was so full of Heyyyyy it’s not even funny. Yet it was full of stunning hilarity and fun.

Merci beaucoup to everyone on St Barth, but especially to my hosts and amazing colleagues. It kind of doesn’t get any better than that. 😘 I premonition Lacaula, Fiji and a serenade of The Carpenters in our future. x

Méfiez-vous de Las Vegas, ici nous venons tous! In preparation, I will collect plenty of miracle Compeed during my travels, enough for me and Jaj. x

In a concerted effort to not piss off Kelly, I’ve been sunscreening my face and décolleté for the last three weeks whilst out and about in windy Santa Barbara. Today will be rather heroic as Phase Two of ‘waifdom’ officially begins. I can’t wait. 😁 There’s no day like botox day and I am ready to get this show on the road. It’s been a fabulous stay on so many levels but I really miss my crazy.

Santa Barbara is something else, that’s for sure. I exceeded my self-induced expectations. I was able to manage time for old-school friends and family, rocked Envizage’s busiest month-to-date for 2014, exercised daily, kept up Boo’s 30-fucking-day squat challenge and am en route to San Francisco with the comfort of having had a proper catch up with my love-bus… finally.

La vie est belle! Before heading back to the Palace, I have an amazing San Fran day ahead of me. It’s not often I say that. I found a non-flake San Franciscan (granted he’s actually German) to have lunch with, a few free hours to work, and meds in my pocket to assist with the sheer terror of my impending, albeit voluntary, tasering. My UBER issues are resolved and dinner with the cutest, most fun and hip family I know is scheduled! I’m telling you… botox day is even better than my birthday. 💫 it’s almost magical!

I did 50 squats while blow drying, 30 while putting on make-up and have just 50 more to go. The schedule is tight (as is my bum!) but I will find a way to squeeze them in. I wonder if Don’t-Piss-In-the-Pool-Paul would mind if I do them at Chez Papa Mint? Or should we go to Anchor & Hope… mmm or Barbacco is always nice. Already thinking about food even after my mother steamed me the perfect soft-boiled egg this morning… I’m at that bottomless-pit point of the month.

I feel well-prepared and ready for the madness that is my near future. Being in PDT, working for clients close and also really far away, I was still able to maintain a bit of random.com throughout. 😆 My Swiss friends in Texas (talk about random) gave me an educational lesson on the myth of the Phoenix and something having to do with ashes. The VP texted a photo of himself with a bit of facial hair (yes, still pretty freaking hot) and the big fish he caught. I had the most fun daytime surprise pop-in on my favourite boss, Biff. Mrs Jetsetter is keeping me grounded with our stars and exciting Mars transition. 🌟🌍🌙 I solved my fancy UAE client’s final leg of his ‘spend-Ramadan-elsewhere’ holiday. And people think I’ve got it great. Aside from his near-weekly corporate travel to fabulous places like Melbourne, Paris and Russia… the whole family will begin this year’s holiday at Hello Kitty and Disneyland Tokyo, followed by a couple weeks at Four Seasons Maldives and thanks to my random suggestion: a seaside villa in Dubrovnik. I really do love my job.

I am so appreciative of the time I was able to spend not only with with my family, but with so many people I’ve not seen in a hundred years. It’s impossible to hit everyone, but I sure as hell try. The other night a woman I went all through school with, who I hadn’t seen since our high school graduation, surprise-text me as she was in town from LA, just visiting like me, preparing for her own international adventure. We were never all that close and my memory is absolute shite. But she told me a story I had forgotten from when we were in eighth grade and I’ve not been able to get it out of my mind. No details are necessary but I was reminded that even then: I had the honest, ballsy, gritty kindness and genuine integrity I still carry with me today. I’m deeply flattered to have made an impression on her life, so simply and unknowingly, by just doing the right thing despite bullshit popularity and mean-spirited girls. 😊

Here I come Kelly… properly sunscreened and ready for your magic now! Phase Two has officially begun. Only 19 more sleeps, three countries and five flights before I leave for Phase Three!!! 😁 x

Am so happy to be in a real city again… even if it is San Fran! And by real I mean: no ‘burbs and no car required! 👸

The late night text I sent to the VP, random, on his weekday morning!

The Chocolate Gallery, 33 years and counting!

I believe you can. I feel justified declaring myself a full-blown New Yorker. The pace in sunny SoCal and me… well maybe we just don’t quite mesh. I feel abrupt just walking into the bank or a shop by the reactions that my mere contiguity seems to entice from the folks around here. It is interesting, to say the least. I’m unknowingly staring in a Cohen Brother movie. 😏 I have to admit that it’s difficult not to walk fast, get impatient at a cross walk when there are barely any cars on a massive suburban intersection, and ask sharp, precise and direct questions. I think my real problem is that no one else reacts with much swiftness. I’m not complaining, Santa Barbara is a very nice place. I walk these streets now with confidence… amazed how much nothing has changed. In fact, I’ve realised Country Meat Market is just across the road… how funny! And then Bob Seger comes on with “Still The Same” and I can’t help but reflect, with a huge sense of accomplishment and a giggle. I so completely respect all of my lovelies who simply love living in our hometown. I just cannot relate. I imagine many wouldn’t relate to my three mile walk to spin for two hours, as I must maintain the business, of course, but also my figure in anticipation of my upcoming ‘pool day’ with the VP. 😝 Eat-your-heart-out moments are secretly my most favourite.

In the land of the perpetual cul-de-sac, having just jumped the Overpass fence to the bike path, I passed the San Simeon house where I swindled that deal for a limo ride to my eighth grade ‘school dance’, and found the perfect avocado just fallen off someone’s tree. 😃 I watched Calle Real slowly go by, (and Jimbo as well!) 😊 and am genuinely moved by every song that proceeds the next, upon reflection of my last decade away. I’d never have known the words to that legendary Stone Roses ballad by heart, without the VP. I’d never have the relationship to music that I do, had my dear client not outfaced me to actually spin for charity rather than just donate money. I’d never have been introduced to Bob Dylan by my immeasurably loved special friend. Can’t imagine Gangnam Style would sound the same had Ashlee and I not smashed it at our London event. Would Ed Sheeran even be on my radar had that gorgeous tall Brit not downloaded it to my iTunes 😚 whilst in Mexico? And let’s face it… what would I even do without Pulp!? What I do know, is that more than anything, my head is lost on some bus with Edward Sharpe’s “Home”, and I simply must distract myself in the form of general mischief. 😇

“… and so it depends”… sigh 😕

I don’t count San Fran as real trips so therefore I’ve oddly not been on one since New Year. I must admit, I’m growing increasingly excited as St. Barth’s, Puerto Rico, Oman, Dubai, Bangkok and California hover in my v near future. As much as I’m trying to initiate change and market my incredible business, I think the ever-present debates about arranging Italian versus French hotel sites, or offers to pop across the pond 😉 helps to ground, legitimise and motivate me. With all the dead-weight now in storage, I must incorporate meeting my second grand-niece, Brooklyn 😍 in Washington State with a Vegas conference impending that I’m still not quite sure attending, for the third year in a row, is worthwhile. (and I’m completely full of shite, as it is not likely I’ll miss that reunion, I mean… conference)

I say this with respect, but if my internal debates were centred more around “what should I pick up at Country Meat Market for dinner”, I don’t think I’d be a v happy person. And on that note I’ll head over to the Chocolate Factory to collect a real down home special surprise for my Bistro family on the upper east side. 😁 Maybe I’ll turn on “Withnail & I” or “Amelie” for a bit of mental stabilisation. My six miles today, coupled with a two-hour self-spin sesh helped as well.

Turns out you can take the girl out of Santa Barbara and you can also take Santa Barbara out of the girl. I’ve officially defected. I’m hungry for New York, Capri and Seoul. However, as often or little I visit ‘home’, I can always count on this crow. This is the only fucking crow I’ve ever seen in my life… and it lives outside my parent’s house where I grew up. Not quite as scary as the kraken, but what is with this silly old bird? Speaking of kraken, to formally answer my dear friend’s question: I think I am really beginning to enjoy my liberation. x and here’s a tip: being at mum’s is not v gluten-friendly! Love you, mom! 😘

But “give me champagne when I’m thirsty, and… ” 😝

My parent’s pet crow 🙂

San Fran is bullshit. It leaves me with no other choice than to be hilarious and cynical like George: “these pretzels are making me thirsty”. I love this line because the interpretation is so subjective… if you remember the Seinfeld episode, each character had their own rendition of “these pretzels are making me thirsty”. 😄 Earnest. Angry. Jolly. Melodramatic.

I flew to San Fran (yes… I do refer to it as San Fran out of pure disrespect) just a day and a half ago. I’m not sure why I’m even here. Well… Four Seasons asked me to be. I do live, sell and stay at Four Seasons as often as possible… and apparently it’s been noticed. Plus I met a double Scorpio! And how else would my gorgeous HKG Catherine realise she’s got herself a fabulous rep! He did well. Who would have known otherwise?! (I’m sure they knew, but what-ev)

Coming to SF is like not coming to SF. What the hell does that even mean? I lived here for five years and outside of actual firm meetings… it’s like I don’t know anyone! Obviously my Kelly is exempt and truly loved. But I have never in my life experienced such aloofness as I have from the characters who pride themselves on being SFers. I have another word for you people! It begins with an F, and it’s not ‘fabulous’. I will exempt my dear Janice from the f-word as well… for nearly teaching me the difference between effect and affect, if nothing else. 😉 x

Had I not had the amazing, albeit last minute stay with my gorgeous Aussies, I’d have thrown in the towel a day ago. Thankfully chez Mill Valley had (literally) one vacancy on Tuesday! That entire family is so genuinely beautiful and quite grounding. But apparently, as my worldwide friendships expand, I’ve now got to clarify Sydney people versus Melbourne people… as they are two v different beasts. Mrs Jetsetter will have to show me firsthand! ☺️ The brilliant friend, at the heels of my business concept (several years ago), he’s struck again and unexpectedly boosted my entire focus to where it obliviously needed to be! I’ve always promulgated, as a karmic business woman of integrity, that every one of my trips proves invaluable in some form. So with Mill Valley, Kelly and Janice exempt of my SF abomination… today is a new day to enjoy margaritas in random 70 degree (or 21 to the rest of the world) weather and appreciate that yes, this trip did indeed serve a purpose or two. Despite the rest of you F’ers here in SF. Perhaps I’m a little cranky, but come on SF… let’s face it: you’re dirty, smelly, unfriendly and typically have the worst-ever weather. Let’s not try to fake beauty, cleanliness and pleasantries. Just because you have loads of organic foods and the Golden Gate does not make you beautiful.

Even though the polar vortex still lingers over my NYC, I miss it… and the water towers. I miss my lightening bus too.

I turned 40, and have had the most random client (degrading!) frustrations, suffered the second-time only illness and was only able to get 4 days of exercise banked in the last 29 days 😞 I think I’ve gone mental. Touch wood that I am officially on the mend and will be running in Central Park in no time! I’ve just read Chelsea Handler’s latest book… and though it’s a bit odd to read someone else talk randomly about vodka, lemons, men, xanax and travel, I’ve definitely concluded that I am a far better writer! With a bit less raunch…

This city leaves me with no other words than “these pretzels are making me thirsty”. But given my impending margarita lunch, I’ll go with the ‘earnest’ depiction of that classic line.

And… thank you Four Seasons. I love you! 😘

What the F just happened? I feel like Sweet Dee looks in the attached photo, from my favourite show: It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia. She went on to do unshowered (love her) standup comedy in this episode and coined the phrase: ‘The joke’s on Dee’. And it is so appropriately on demand in seat 1A, which is a miracle I’m even sitting in. 😳

I am almost at a loss for words (shocker!) how to articulate my last 48 hours. My left leg, which is well-known, worldwide, as being hollow. Well it’s now gone dead. But I have a rockstar to blame for that. And Tom, we all know JG Tom… thinks I had a stroke. 🚷 I paraded, for random analysis, up and down the restaurant, whilst the late night crew gauged the seriousness of why my left leg keeps just folding. This was after the first 3 of 13 inches of snow fell last night, when I walked the deaf and speechless v kind neighbour into his apartment safely. Earlier in the afternoon, I had a bit of a bet with the rockstar to uphold. Later on, I fell up some stairs after the most unbelievably odd (yeah even for me!) evening, fell out the taxi home (sober !!!), walked my deaf friend home, got cash while a new perky afghani friend waited, and then fell twice in the sludge. Sadly my falls were not even sludge related as I had the Hunter boots on. At least JG had a laugh! It’s so weird though it’s actually funny… I cannot feel my left hollow leg. There’s no issue though, no pain. Just numbness. The cute afghani tried to randomly massage life back into it, but after I catwalked to Paul Simon’s ‘slip out the back Jack’ and my v own Bobby D’s: ‘you’re gonna make me lonesome’, at JG, our conclusion was: you’ve had a stroke. 😯

I thought that maybe once I slept a bit and some of those pinched nerves relaxed that today it would be better. See… I am currently en route to San Fran just for the day. For Kelly I’d go to the moon and back 😆 yes every 4 months. Anyway, the afghani and stroke analysation kept me out far later than anticipated and I slept through my alarm. 😣

I awoke in an absolute frenzy at 7:39am, after 13 inches of overnight NYC snow, without car service on call… for an 8:55am flight to SF. Yeah the fucking ‘joke was on me’ alright! I brushed my teeth, threw on clean jeans and panties… and just hauled ass downstairs. I thankfully had an amazing taxi driver. I’ve got no clue how I made this flight as ‘they’ say JFK is at least 30 minutes from the upper east side in zero traffic. Good luck during rush hour valentine day, which is bullshit (valentine not rush hour traffic!), Friday after 13 inches snow and in prep for another 6 tonight… I f’ing made it. Granted, my left leg ‘gave out’ as I stepped out of taxi into airport and yeah another (the 6th or 7th time now) knee plant into the snowy sludge. So just take a sec for the visual: Liz after three hours sleep, dead left leg, pony tail, all my shit thrown into purse (except my vitamins I took the time to get the 7 pills out! still laying on my kitchen counter), trying to get myself sorted as it got closer and closer to my 8:55am flight. The Van Wyck was surprisingly quick, nothing but a jacket and stupid briefcase in tow, falling out the taxi (literally) onto the ground 😝 then being immediately shuffled away in my sweet frantic charming panic, to the front of all TSA and boarding lines… and onto my flight. In time for a pre flight champagne. What the hell. Silver lining: I wore no mascara last night so I’ve got no dark circles or make up running down my pretty little soon-to-be-freshly-botoxed face. Botox day is even better than my birthday and it comes 4 times a year. With someone like Kelly… it’s just indescribable. But for me it’s ALL about my Kelly, NOT the botox! She’s just genius.

I’m not in the lulu but venture to guess Kelly will take one look at me today and just shake her head. We’ll all have a big laugh at dinner tonight (before my red eye home) and then next weekend as everyone will be present in NYC. That is, if my left leg ever decides to work again. I half-folded after my TSA security check-in. I’m learning to control it I think! Or at least how to land softly. BART ought to be interesting! I miss Nilmar.

Things are a bit surreal and likely will be until my big 4-0 passes. Then what will we all do? 😢

And I love my favourite client: “so exactly how many ex-boyfriends will be there?” Haha… v funny. (though it does still remain a mystery!)

x