Archive for June, 2014

Thank you, M’am Sir

Posted: June 28, 2014 in Travels

On the way out of the Middle East…

Am just off a gorgeous Emirates flight from Dubai to Bangkok, and I do sort of feel as though I’ve just survived my very own ‘special-guest’ episode of a Hamish & Ando show. That is a massive compliment, as the entire week was FULL of hilarity, genuine friendships, incredible lessons, brilliant insights and just a little bit of cray-cray. 😍

Fortunate opportunities… such as having guacamole and Vueve at a friend’s home pre-flight, in a far far Arabian land away, seems quite normal and more pointedly: comfortable to me. If only every phase of waifdom involved a Kirkie-bear send-off, sigh… my life would be so complete. 😘 I left Dubai FINALLY having properly received my very own ‘thank you, m’am-sir’ and I was wanting it bad. After all the politically incorrect jokes, that were hilarious and forever seared in my mind over the last 10 days… it was so needed, and organically delivered! Mr Armani was unphased but a bit surprised by the “oh shit” that followed from the Filipino server at the Dubai Yacht Club… on the first day of Ramadan. πŸ˜… It’s early Sunday morning now in Bangkok and I’m excited to see my amazing nephew, meet his friends and have a little champagne brunch. What!? 😳 It’s been at least seven hours since my last champagne! It is really cozy returning to one of my most favourite cultures as well. Oh yes, uh-hem… and to work and do hotel sites as well. But yeah I got the duty-free Goose. Duh. This is my first time actually going ’round the world. It kind of does make me feel ‘bad ass’. However what is overwhelmingly cool is the familiarity of the roads as I travel from airport to hotel, although I forgot they drive on the other side of the road. Oh the English… “Thank you M’am-Sir”. πŸ˜…

Life can be so, so random! Last week in Oman was truly blissful, followed by a fun-filled decadent week at the serene Park Hyatt, and then a hilarious, eventful and sun-kissed Dubaian weekend in the Marina. There are so many stories….. it quite honestly could never translate. You just had to be there. I stole a crow bar in a Muslim country! To my defence I was at ‘demolition party’ and was encouraged to pillage the entire hotel. Only in Dubai. But I admit I was relieved to learn that the girl who had glass stuck in her chin… well, she’s okay. 😁 And I thought my life changed rapidly in Manhattan! Dubai operates a bit differently, and far more quickly. I definitely have my issues with the lifestyle and hypocrisy… but I have managed to discover a few of the most fabulous people anywhere on this planet.😚 and yes point taken: I will stop apologising for my presence! What a nasty little habit.

What a week it’s been, yet again it is time to suck it up. I am truly excited to be here in Thailand where I can get a ‘soapy’ (ha ha!), have foot massages all week and champagne for less than our pool bill was at The Address yesterday. πŸ˜‰ Watching the risquΓ© scooter drivers weave in and out of traffic… I am reminded how much I love this country. But seriously, it’s Sunday morning… and I can’t work out how the girl in the polka-dot dress, sitting side-saddle on the back of a scooter on Rajadamri Road, does not fall off. Because she is holding onto nothing but her purse! So random. I cannot wait to find an excuse to get back in a tuk-tuk…

Cheers and x, even xx and maybe even an ooo to all you special Dubai people. Safe travels to all and thanks for making me feel so special. ☺️ High-five! After my very touching Pakistani taxi ride to airport last night, where I was blessed, yet again, and admired for my open-minded ness (given I’m American) to now being greeted by the infectious Thai wai, I truly cannot wait to see what lies ahead this week. Before my impulsive Tokyo pop-over. 😳 Definitely a bit crazy. But I love it. And for the record… I never high five! (okay… well maybe once) πŸ˜‚

Oh and hey VP, just when I think you’ve properly shown me all the Manchester bands a girl could ever want… someone else introduces me to Supergrass! πŸ˜‰

Sawasdee ka.


… all the way to Bangkok!



These are Arabian memories I will never forget. These are friends who will never truly know the depth of my gratitude. This is a place that will continue to test my integrity and tolerance, but will forever hold such a special place in my heart. I knew phase II of waifdom would be spectacular… but it has completely blown my mind in all aspects and exceeded any slight expectation I may have had. And I’m still just half-way through the Dubai bit! Tomorrow I must leave the beautiful Park Hyatt at Dubai Creek, which I think is just breathtaking… despite the 45 degree weather. Americans: that’s well into the 100s. The world just seems to spin itself in mysteriously awesome ways, as I was originally not even meant to be in this neck of the woods. Turns out to be quite fabulous and chock full of lovely neighbours πŸ˜‰ nor is it lacking of kind friends who ensure I am enjoying myself. I would be hard-pressed to have an unhappy reflection of the only part of Dubai that existed prior to the fabulous 1970s: the Creek. A pedestrian bridge has now been approved by His Highness Sheikh Mohammad Bin Rashid Al Maktoum, the Vice-President and Prime Minister of the UAE and Ruler of Dubai, to connect to the Dubai Mall side of this crazy destination. Thankfully I’ve got friends at the Dubai Government Tourism Board to keep us all apprised of the new developments! πŸ˜† Get it all sorted by 2020, my lovely mate! xx And yes I really do dislike all your freaking acronyms! I will purposely not refer to or remember your job title from here on out!

I imagine my stay in the Marina will be rather amazing in it’s very own distinct way, and have a sense that gin will somehow be involved. 😳 sigh….. gotta love the Brits! And the Canadians and Aussies as well. And I think we liked the Omani too? They were kind to us at the border after all that ‘drama’ and the 7 bottles of alcohol we smuggled in. The weekend is still a bit fuzzy, especially after a long flight, convoy BMW drive, border-crossing, PMS and the Arabian Sea at 3:00am. No it is NOT the fucking Indian Ocean, okay!!? πŸ˜… and no I don’t feel those little lit-up planktons stinging me! 😘 So long as there is no kracken (and plenty of gin) I am good-to-go! Apparently. I think it’s hilarious… my sea-less Santa Barbara childhood all grown-up and wading out in the midnight Arabian Sea. It was a full moon, yes… an actual full moon, not a literal one. Or maybe both. πŸ˜‰

Gazing at the lights of Burj Khalifa, after stumbling upon that unbelievable Arabian sunset… I’m just proud of myself. I am 40 years old and don’t need anyone to tell me how or where to live my life, head up a business that I really do adore amidst it’s challenges and am so fortunate to travel the world. It’s not always pretty, but it is definitely learned and earned. And to loop back to where this thought began: I am so grateful for the friends I have collected that span the entire globe. It’s fucking awesome. You don’t choose your life, you live it! 😍 Have decided to extend my Bangkok stay, I want to meet and chill with the fabulous Thai colleagues my nephew has convinced me I will love. Hmm. That was a hard sell, eh? πŸ˜‰ And I’ve now incorporated a bit of Tokyo logistics and hotel-site-seeing into my journey. Hellooooo Haneda and Narita.

Here’s a little special 40-year old shout-out to my momma who ‘gets me’. Thank you. xx

Oh and for the record, I’ve been taught the rules of the esoteric x. One x is ‘cheers mate’. Two xx is ‘love ya’. Three xxx is ‘let’s get it on’ and four xxxx is… well, I think it stops at five xxxxx but I’ll let your imagination do the walking on that one! 😊


I might have hit peak capacity! And the week isn’t close to over yet. Sigh. I’m tired. But instead of rest, I took a surprise bus ride the other night. Somehow the universe is dropping little signals at just the right moments… right when I’m about to give up and head for the subway. I popped a little bubbly because doesn’t everyone do this on Thursday and Friday and Saturday… yes exhausted, and Sunday and Monday, and yes surprisingly again on Tuesday. And, well… shoot Thursday was an event as well. Never dull. When I’m home in New York, as pictured, things are equally lovely. I’m feeling quite fortunate. And rather pleased for the Tuesday reminder- of true love, mutual respect and the most beautiful friendship. 😚 As my week ‘home’ progressed, it only got stranger and more awesome. I met up, at my favourite Cafe Pleiades, with a boy I met on a plane several years ago. Before he met his wife, married, had three kids and moved to Arizona! Bizarre, but I must admit that I am rather impressed he even remembered me. Always fun to catch up with great people you’ve not seen in a hundred years. 😘 loving you up NYC.

I don’t know what I was thinking booking myself in Puerto Rico after a trip to Saint BarthΓ©lemy at a world-renowned property, with a select small group of colleagues. I guess that explains the funny looks each one of them gave me when they learned of my post-St Barths intentions. Heyyyyy, when I was eighteen years old… I remember the charm of Old San Juan fondly! But true to Liz-random-fashion, I bailed that plan last minute just by the mere suggestion from a friend.

“Well if it’s such a shit hole, why don’t you just come home?” 😳

Good idea at 1:00pm on a Monday afternoon! Why don’t I?! I had dinner the night before at the BLT Steak bar at the Ritz, trying not to overhear the random Floridian couple next to me bicker and struggle for some semblance of a peaceful life with one another. After having just left St Barths with a small group of extraordinarily fulfilled lovelies, (both personally and at work) it was just an interesting dynamic. I slept terribly with a long bad dream all night, one of those where you wake up random and go right back into it. For the whole night. It was a bullying dream of sorts. πŸ˜”

I woke up to shitty weather, a shitty hotel, an air conditioning unit that maybe did or did not work, 220 squats and a full busy work day. Messaging with my buddy, I realised staying and PAYING was just goofy! Time to turn this frown upside down. I called the airline by 1:30pm and the hotel just after who agreed upon my 4:00pm check out with no penalty to leave early. Like a bat out of the mythological hell, I packed everything up and home to Manhattan I went! I purchased duty free Puerto Rican sweets for my Upper East side Bistro friends, grabbed a grey goose roadie (okay so there’s one good thing about Puerto Rico), secured my upgrade and was suddenly so excited to be home!

Having properly wrapped work up for the night into a nice little bow I was excited to re-watch ‘Grand Budapest Hotel’ on the plane. The d-bag next to me in the window seat would not put his shade down. So I’m blinded in my right eye and practically deaf in my left ear. Being 40 rocks. πŸ˜† It ended up being a hilarious flight, and a new flight attendant friend was made. Four hours later when I landed I had somehow collected a little plethora of random plans to meet friends and then head into my local for a nightcap. Hmmm. Nothing like a living each day to it’s fullest! I had this Jersey taxi driver who was either totally fucked up or just really really inept at NYC driving. We were going in circles just outside of Newark… on and off the freeway ausfahrts. Trying to get up to 76th was interesting. He drove 5 mph in the Lincoln Tunnel with no traffic. That should have been my first clue. He stopped in that bendy bit of Park Avenue like down at 40th that goes through Grand Central. Stopped. WTF! He was a mess and I had to go into deal-mode! As in, “are you okay to drive?” I aggravatingly made it home, dropped the luggage and darted off for a little neighbourhood fun. All the while receiving slightly inappropriate What’s App messages. Sigh… but so hilarious πŸ˜„

My week home thus far has been unexpectedly full-on but I wouldn’t trade this life for anything… next week I’m off again for so so long. I’ve got like 17 more random scenarios to live out, as I cross the globe. I am definitely not boasting, but overwhelmed 🌎🌍🌏 by my own brevity at times. Work, friends and even buses constantly remind me without even realising, how fabulous life is. x

I am loving Phase II of waifdom! πŸ’‹ Like Alabama Shakes say we’re ‘Always Alright’… what a great fucking song.



Was it the constant flow of champagne? Pas du tout! Are only beautiful people allowed on the island? Perhaps. I mean, just take a look at my group. 😎 The immutable-talker we met on the flight was no beauty pageant contender though. Aside from that tinnitus-exacerbating first hour, I’ve concluded everyone else on that island is a total stunner. Even the island itself is stunning! The hunt for a beach better than Cayman has finally been denuded. Literally. 😍 Clearly there’s a reason St Barths is not as easy to get to. All the stunning people want to keep the lazy un-stun-worthy out.

We’ve all flipped through an ‘US Magazine’ at some point in time and deemed St Barths as impervious amidst the world of celebs, yachts and P Diddy’s antics. It’s worth finding a way on to see for yourself. I am fucking stunned and highly recommend this fabulous destination. I truly think it does not get any better than Saint BarthΓ©lemy and in the words of my new dear friend: “well I wouldn’t mind dying here”. πŸ˜… And after all the ‘Pound It!’ action, it’s a wonder none of us did.

St Barths is just barely difficult to get to, but worth every effort. For one, it’s French… and we all know that the French do it for me every time. The kraken-less turquoise clear ocean, dramatic verdure terrain, charming downtown, stunning population and gastronomic cuisine simply cannot be beat! These last three days are quite high on my best-ever list. And I’ve got only Jaj and the infamous HΓ΄tel Le Toiny to thank. Oh yeah and #shoutout πŸ˜‰ to Chris.

For what started out as a week filled with disappointment in myself and a bit of stress, St Barths, along with my posse of ‘all-baby siblings’, managed to get most everything envizagley wrapped up, chill the fuck out and seriously enjoy life like Adam Levine would have, had we not been loving life loudly at the table next to him at Bonito on Friday night. πŸ˜‡ Rocking curly hair and a backless sweater, after touring what now are known to me as the worlds most beautiful beaches… my v own little posse of stunners hit the streets of Gustavia. Every which way we looked, all our jaws were dropped, with an inability to say much more than ‘heyyyyy’ and smile and giggle our nights (and days) away.

Shell Beach, Gouverneur Beach, Flamands, Colombier and Saline were the most gorgeous I’ve ever seen. Not to forget our Sex-on-the-Nikki-Beach and my v own Beach Boy at Tom’s. That was after our yacht excursion when our Sugar Daddy StΓ©phane made my ‘dreams come true’ with a roadie of rosΓ©. Sigh… that was just yesterday. Le magnifique HΓ΄tel Le Toiny proved that ‘stunning’ can be relaxed, natural and simply elegant devoid of pomp and circumstance, without giving up one ounce of luxurious perfection. No €35 SPF sunscreen 75 ml bottle for sale there! We were encouraged to explore the island as their globally famous clientele does, and left 100% ensured any one of our clients sent would thank us profusely for the rest of their stunning lives for having done so. Heyyyyy, Le Toiny with your stunning GMs and uncanny gorgeous staff… I could not be more grateful. I will rock my Peruvian St Barths bracelet proudly and forever be reminded of the most stunning place I’ve ever been, with the most ‘amazeballs’ people that I am proud, now, to call friends. I embrace my newest Milieu nickname: Lips Costello, will never mispronounce Shawneen’s name again, long for that hysterically innocent F-bomb and already miss the core-engaging boy who spit in my face: from a noodle. This trip was so full of Heyyyyy it’s not even funny. Yet it was full of stunning hilarity and fun.

Merci beaucoup to everyone on St Barth, but especially to my hosts and amazing colleagues. It kind of doesn’t get any better than that. 😘 I premonition Lacaula, Fiji and a serenade of The Carpenters in our future. x

MΓ©fiez-vous de Las Vegas, ici nous venons tous! In preparation, I will collect plenty of miracle Compeed during my travels, enough for me and Jaj. x