Archive for January, 2014


Posted: January 17, 2014 in When in NYC


My Global Entry Enrollment System US Customs and Border Patrol Trusted Traveler Program interview is today. What a mouthful. Definitely potential for a shit-show kind of day. As I prepare for regular business as normal, a shower and full blow dry, three trains (the 6 to the E? to the JFK AirTran) to Terminal 4, an interview with the TSA… I can’t help but get the sense that today is going to end up a heroic one. πŸ˜ƒ

I was terribly sick for over a week after returning from California. The snot hacking dickwad that sat next to me on my 25 minute flight from Santa Barbara to LAX got me. I never even looked to my right in our roomy exit row seats… because you just knew “oh god this boy is contagious sick”. Anyway, he got me that day, January 5th. It’s been hilarious ever since… full with my positive push into the new year with party planning, client focus, and debauchery wearing a ‘work’ disguise: all with heartbreak and a massive head cold in tow. Yay!

Some will understand this, and some won’t get what I’m saying but it’s short enough to gloss over: so, I was hit by a bus that was being struck by lightening as it hit back on December 19th. I’ve now got arrangements made to have that same bus hit me purposely, I think on a weekly basis… all in an attempt to save the bus from imploding or some shit like that. It’s been a blast so far (no pun intended) and will surely deliver loads of neurotic episodes, from what the bus and I now refer to as: ‘textbook heartbreak’, cognitively 101. No wonder I run off to places like Cannes, San Fran and Milan every chance I get. Escapism at it finest. ☺️ I only get bus confirmations via text when I’m not in New York! πŸ˜… so hilarious.

So onwards and upwards big day today! Clients have described their TSA interviews at having been 4 minutes long but I’m anticipating mine to be a bit longer. For two years my American clientele has been so keen on understanding what this Global Entry program is, how it works and really wanting some clarity on it all. Well… we’re dealing with America, our government, the FAA who has ‘leadership’ from Napolitano and then trickles into what is called our country’s national security with the mighty TSA. Clarity kind of doesn’t exist. But in the mood I’ve been in lately and for the sake of industry knowledge and bitchy curiosity, I intend to seek some today! The poor TSA guy who is assigned me hopefully is not 24 years old and fresh out of marine boot camp. He’d be eaten alive. 😠 I’m secretly hoping I’ll get a Sam Elliot-like type who can pass on some wisdom with a cup of coffee and wink of the eye. Maybe I should bring some Francois Payard macaroons from next door. Or more appropriately: a 90 cent ‘bread roll’ from the guy on the corner cart, just outside the subway at 77th and Lex. Wrapped in a greasy white paper pocket. Anyway, I digress. This is what dealing with bus-struck Liz is like these days! (I’m told the effects wear off after a while) πŸ˜”

Anyway, wish me luck. More to the point wish the TSA luck… and I hope everyone has a fabulous weekend. Mine entails a trip to f’ing Liberty Island, drinks and dancing in the Louboutins, followed by what’s sounding a little bit like a date. How else would you take it if a cute guy from out of town is warning: ‘you better be ready for me’ ? πŸ˜‰ Nah, it’s going to be a classic New York weekend that I love love love so much. 😘 It’s just what ordered. Even Liberty. Can’t wait! x

What was that I said earlier about the subway, as I sat in the backseat of a black car on the Van Wyck? 😊 I think it will go well. All men here at the TSA!


He couldn’t get it up at LAX

Posted: January 6, 2014 in Travels

Best text ever… brought to real emoticon life!

You just know it’s going to be a fantastic trip when your flight attendant shouts across the cabin to you: “he couldn’t get it up?” 😁 So hilarious. I have lots of quirks… actually I think they’re multiplying as I age, but one of them is having the window seat on a plane. One of my windows, at seat 5F home to JFK (finally!) was broken. As I sipped on champagne while the rest of the flight boarded… I mouthed and motioned to the gorgeous young blonde (a refreshing reprieve from United’s norm) that my second window shade would not raise. She could tell by my facial and hand gestures that I wasn’t fussed about it, just relaying information. Next thing you know the sole male flight attendant came over and attempted to get my window shade up. Failure. I was totally cry-laughing when the sweet curly-haired crew asked rather loudly and innocently (as heaps of families were still boarding) from quite a few rows away: “oh, he couldn’t get it up?” And dumb ass me, I answered just as naive, “nooo but it’s not a big deal”. We both erupted with uncontrollable laughter once it set in.πŸ˜‚ Perfect way to start my first journey home for 2014, just three hours later than scheduled… today. Technically it’s 29 hours and three solutions later than my original plan.

Happy New Year! Year of the horse. The entry into my fourth decade. 😏 I honestly couldn’t be happier. Last year was a bit of a shocker on several levels… I’ll spare you the details. But the attached photo pretty much sums it up. My ridiculously kind, albeit, stoic AJ had the text that yanked me out of a massive spinning hysteria made into a big painting!!! Instant tears. I love it so much. I was all freaky deek over the VP back in March in Paris. I was a little emotionally paralyzed still after an hour-long Skype… until I received this text: πŸ‘ΈπŸ”«πŸ·xxx. It was the thing that broke the camel’s back. (pun intended) for that night at least! πŸ˜† and so it goes…

New Years was really good. Much needed down time at my aunties was just what the doctor ordered. Thank you… I love our sock monkey trio. The downtime is oh so precious.Β As was the jammie run ‘to the border’. I’m always nostalgic and excited for the new year. This one was exceptionally odd… equal parts odd-fabulous and odd-shit-show. 😳 I love living this life and am proud by my abilities to manage the shit-show aspects of it a bit more constructively. Reflection on 2013 has been kind of overwhelming, and still a work in progress. I’m exhausted by the memories let alone having just lived it! I think too, that I exited with a new brand for my business (which will be five years in March) and have the fabulous new F-word approaching, causing me to reflect a little more intensely. I am in awe to be honest. Looking back on 2013, I feel pretty heroic! I rebranded, traveled more than ever, hired Ash, maintained the business, have a new kick-ass tat, was active in three industry shows worldwide, we won’t mention men, I threw my grandmother a birthday party, witnessed another incredible nuptial, and made or reconnected with more incredible friends than I could have ever imagined having. Yet, still I am jilted. But that’s okay… sufficed to say, I am a functioning jiltee. Special thanks to my 2013 ‘connections’ for all the strength you’ve unknowingly provided. 😘 I’m serious! I am secretly fascinated to discover what will deliver along with the super new moon. Oz and Oman for sure. Oh yes… let’s not forget Reykjavik!? Who the hell goes to Iceland in February? Um… the girl who goes to the UAE during Ramadan. That would be me!

I’m a bit bummed to have missed Snowpocalypse Hercules in NYC. I am ready to take 2014 full on and anxious to get home. But stupid San Fran f’ed me over once again. I love, more than anything, living with real seasons. Me and my new UNIQLO puffy jacket. We are definitely bad ass. This new horse year implies it’s going to be a hectic one already with events this week, loads of travel, and given I’m now Swiss I must celebrate Three Kings Day tomorrow! Thanks to this random 167 mph tailwind I am getting there rather quickly. Polar vortexes rock! πŸ˜ƒ Some people worry about me on the holidays, but there’s no need. I kind of have to disappear and recharge during this time, and realize I cannot deprive myself of it. I work hard, and it’s all me… which can be a lot of pressure. Now I am legitimately looking forward to getting jiggy with it on our first Monday morning of 2014. I am ready to roll! I’ve got to figure out how to ship booze to Washington State. My most adorable first nibling won our Philadelphia Eagles vs New Orleans Saints bet last night. Distance makes no difference in my world. My first shot as a 40-year old will be with the boy… though it will NOT be a jaeger bomb like the night he told me he was off to buy an engagement ring like 100 years ago. Ouch. Us Costellos can be rather persuasive… and are loads of fun. πŸ˜‰

Hope everyone had as nice an entry to 2014 as I did. For the record, I’ve only had ONE non-showered-slept-in-my-clothes night this year. x and ooo


Renea, Lizzie and Jeanne (why is everyone touching me?)