Archive for April, 2014

I’m drippy… not stroppy!

Posted: April 30, 2014 in When in NYC

Out with the old!!!

I’ve just left east 74th street. 😢 Well… it’s been a couple hours now, and I have to go back for movers tomorrow… but it’s my first night in on my ‘leap in the dark’. I truly believe this venture, albeit a bit scary, will deliver me a safe landing, ultimately. In my new temporary NYC base: my lucky pennies are out, my voodoo goddess has her far nicer Park Avenue view and Kauaian wood bed (with hand-selected silk lining), and the Thai elephant is facing the door.

It’s been a bit full on with the business, packing up my entire flat without much help (AJ- hush it!) and having just donated 70% of my closet… well, I actually am elated. It’s still a bit emotional though! That little flat, freezing cold- having survived the crazy upstairs slob prick brothers, the sex-crazed current tenant and the ‘boy who lives beneath me’… well it’s the end of an era! 😳

It’s been raining today and just 39 degrees in NYC. After packing up my three Tumi (with ample Tumi packing insert cubes for professional efficiency), as I walked outside to hail taxi with one box filled with those sacred OCD-Liz treasures… I looked inside the window of JG Melon and saw Tom, and I couldn’t hold back the tears. Yes- as I hailed taxi. Although who am I kidding… the tears have been desultory since December 19th… especially after an amazing catch-up on my last sleeping night at east 74th. I am so amazingly fortunate to have the type of incredible thoughtful friends that I do. I’ve been granted access to ‘The Palace’ in my neighbourhood, as a home base while I sort out my mind and grow my business even more. Wow. Grateful is a massive understatement… I’m overwhelmed! 😘

While sulking in a chair at The Palace, tearing up and feeling *overwhelmed* with the scariness versus excitement of where my ‘leap in the dark’ will lead me… the VP, of all people, rang me to check in. 😊 What a truly incredible year it’s been… we’ve got pool-day/fun-day planned soon and how is that!? I love it though. Thank you my dear VP friend… see you ‘half the world away’ soon enough. x

One of my several smug brit friends teasingly referred to me as stroppy the other day. And sure… maybe I have my share of stroppy-like quirks (for that smug brit a time or two, in particular) but right now I am more drippy than stroppy. I’ve been internally conflicted and took control of my life back… turned my anxious paralysation toward my future into a positive. Yet, now I’m a bit ‘drippy’. 😕

I know the choices I’ve made are articulate, calculated and my intuition is the supremest of the supreme! Deep down… this adventure will be un-fucking-believable. It really will be.

My phenomenal home base is all set, though out of respect I will limit my intrusions (a week here and there at a time) and my first month and a half of travel chaos has been officially scheduled and upgraded. Around the world- literally. 🌍 More fucking power to me!!! I believe it takes a grand amount of brevity to take the leap I’ve just taken but I have the expertise of AJ, full support of my lightening bus/soul mate, the incredible family and friends of’ers all over this fabulous planet to keep me grounded. I’m proud, I’m anxious and I’m so excited… but it’s nothing a xanax can’t fix. And on a night like tonight, alone in the Palace to find my own peace with all I’ve just accomplished, perhaps one and-a-half xanax and a glass of St. Estephe 🍷 will help get me through… getting through is the only way out!

I had the most amazing ‘last Sunday’ in the ‘hood. I touched nearly EVERYONE… and had the most amazing night with my beloved Armenian friends. Truly a proper celebration of the leap that lies ahead. Even the intriguing Army Stud stayed to indulge! 😃

Here’s to being 40! I have zero age issues but just think it is so fucking cool. Many people dream of or watch movies about the journey I’m about to embark on… but I am DOING it. And I did it all by myself… physically. 🔮 What’s meant to be, will be. x

My favourite inspirational excerpt still stands true, and oh how I love you Bob Dylan: “It wasn’t money or love I was looking for. I had a heightened sense of awareness, was set in my ways, impractical and a visionary to boot. My mind was strong like a trap and I didn’t need any guarantee of validity.” 💞

I truly cannot wait! Today is the first day of something delectable and fresh… and a bit of the unknown. x and a special ooo to my AJ, who deserves 3,000 o’s.

Farewell Angelina… ‘the sky’s changing colour’.


… in with the new!

I asked the love of my life, with warning but no real urgency, that if he were to pick just one song… for me, what would it be- in his beautiful mind.  He chose a song that was already on my short list of Bob songs.  That random selection was so overwhelmingly emotional AND spot on that I have difficulty expressing the extreme magnitude of it all.
“There’s only one step down from here, baby… It’s called the land of permanent bliss”.

This is the current (although it does change frequently) refrain of choice from one of my favourite Bob Dylan songs.  Because that IS where I am headed: permanent bliss. 😅  Ha, whatever that means.  It has definitely been an interesting intro to 2014.  I love, more than anything, that I somehow managed to rescue the control of my own life.  It had been a bit of a sinking ship since the 40th.  Focusing on the victorious reclamation of my very own crazy, I have decided to flip the world as I know it upside-down.  To be honest, I could not give a rat’s ass how my future actions ‘appear’ to others… at least on a personal level.  What the hell does ‘not giving a rat’s ass’ even mean anyway?  Do rats even have asses?  I suppose they do.  Where else do the pellet poops and disease come from?  Umm… sidetracked.

So, I’ve contrived all my strength, and am totally capitalizing on the relationships I have nurtured over the years.  I’ve always wanted to be a waif, ever since Natalie Portman described herself as one in the brilliant film: ‘Closer’.  A weird thing to want, perhaps… but when this girl makes her mind up, it’s kind of a done-deal.  People keep asking me, “what is a waif?”  Here’s the definition along with a bit of advice to watch more independent films: 1) a piece of property found (as washed up by the sea) but unclaimed; 2) stolen goods thrown away by a thief in flight; 3) something found without an owner and especially by chance.  And, oddly… I cannot wait, I am truly elated. 😁

I will leave my ‘starter’ NYC apartment on April 30th, 2014.  In my 40th year.  Just seven days after one of my most favourite anniversaries.  I think it is no shock that I’ve been keen on an upgrade.  I am tired of the dingy, smelly elevator that fits maybe 5 humans tops, and the inexplicable inconsistency of heat.  Especially through this polar vortex that seems as though it might never dissipate!  Seriously: what’s a sweetheart like you doing in a dump like this. 😍 
Don’t get me wrong, I ADORE my neighbourhood and will not end up much further than a 5 short-block, 3rd-to-5th Avenue radius.  My Red Bull guy, Duane Reade guy and Bistro Le Steak would be devastated otherwise!  Nor can I ever stray too far from ‘the palace’.  The one on 76th, not Madison and 51st.  Though I have enjoyed my time at the Palace on 51st. 😉  One of the most relieving and articulate things I have done on so many levels, is give up this cozy apartment.  I am a waif-in-waiting and may as well get that out of my system, before I turn 41 years old.  Having stayed put another year just sounded so depressing.  And really… how much longer could anyone tolerate my ‘freezing cold’ complaints?  Thinking like a legitimate businesswoman, I figured I ought to embrace the move and storage of my beautiful flat, by living out my Natalie Portman waif-dream for a few months.  No, you won’t find me pole-dancing at Scores in a light pink wig.  But a week (or so) at my AJ and Renea’s, then Kath’s, my momma’s, Kelly in SF, Bangkok, Le Toiny in St. Barth’s, Dubai, Denver, Lucerne for an NYC water-tower tattoo, London and Washington State to meet my doppelgänger of a grand-niece… well being a waif never sounded more fun!  Eat your heart out Natalie and Jude! 😉  I will have plenty of stopovers in my beloved upper east side palace between the drifting.  And a permanent return to the ‘hood like you’ve never seen before!  Come August, I will have touched (a.k.a. inconvenienced) several loves, traveled, and will select my new upper east side apartment intelligently.  I am still a bit ambivalent on a doorman though.  But I turned my confused bus-struck, freezing cold, 40-year old situation into a positive.  “You can be known as the most beautiful woman who ever crawled across cut glass to make a deal”.  Yes.  That, I can do.  It’s nearly impossible to describe the precipitations of 2013, though I absolutely loved 😅 every minute of it.  I am looking forward to my impending vagabond adventures and then even more so to the refined Manhattan accession this summer.  Meanwhile, “you can hear them tires squeal” (not that I drive, except when really ‘high’ at Taco Bell in Ventura) as I embark on what I believe to be the most viable utilization of age 40 there ever was.
I am feeling rather special, sipping on some randomly delivered Vueve Clicquot, a kind attempt to sedate the reality I put into motion with my love-bus just last night.  Fuck Gwenyth and her conscious uncoupling, it was ME who coined the phrase ‘cognitive heartbreak’ in December. 😳  The bigger picture of life, though mine seems a tad bit unconventional, is fascinating and fucking fabulous.  Never let me slip, cause if I slip then I’m slipping.  I am no Taurus, but I DO enjoy being somewhat in control of my future, whilst cognitively learning what makes a bus find peace, run smoothly, and how to support its journey. 😇 😏 👸 🔫 🍷
“And so it depends.”  Please go see Grand Budapest, immediately. It’s brilliant. 😍  It’s like a fucking fairy-tale.