lizgeorjon

I’ve got to hand it to United, this aircraft between Newark and Honolulu is pretty dialed in.  It has iPod connectors at every seat with three little cubby holes and a nice sized screen.  International adapters, USB port… this plane is similar to the 777 going over the pond but def newer.

Row number one goes like this: Liz-seat 1A, 1B is empty (who’s better than me), Al Roker- seat 1D, 1E-Matt Lauer and 1F-Mrs. Pouty Lauer.  10+ hours to Honolulu.  I was a little agitated the other night when I received an email from the Royal Hawaiian informing me that the Today Show would be filming live from their beachfront at 1:00am this Monday.  So… really late on Sunday night after an all-day pool day.  Seriously, throw in a vicodin just for fun and we’ve potentially got another chapter of the book just writing itself.  I hope people don’t go all mental for these yo-hos.  I mean, Al Roker is so lame, he had all his shit laid out in the cubby holes before take off and it looks like Matt Lauer was sort of arguing with his wife already.  I bet he really is a dick to women.  He looks like a dick.  Didn’t he get named ‘Best’ or ‘Hottest’ something and it went to his head?  I’ll have the entire weekend to find out!  I now wish I had looked up who their on-show guests are to see what other celebs are going to be crowding my first 2013 attempt at a tan!  And yes, when we took off all Al Roker’s shit went flying.

Totally am going to try to hitch a ride to the resort with them though.  We’re going the same exact place!  Who knows, maybe this random trip, which the dates were recently shifted, will be symbiotic in some way.  Most of my randomness usually is, and today INSIDE the airport, I found a lucky penny!  And yes, I picked it up.

Today has been rather strange.  I was up late packing (drinking wine), sort of thinking maybe I’d get a call from the Dreamy VP who spent the past four or so days being rather attentive.  I did not.  I woke up early, did a bit of work and had an 11:45am car to the airport.  I got a random spurt of motivation (probably by the fact that my banker busted out with “you’re losing a lot of weight” yesterday) and huffed it up to 9:30am spin class. I rushed back home, got in the shower, final touches on packing, put on my little sparkly star earrings from my Kath xo and literally walked downstairs at 11:43am.  For anyone who knows me that is truly amazing.  The driver had a brand spanking new Cadillac and was listening to music I swear I haven’t heard since I was maybe five years old.  Most people know that I have little-to-no memory before age 10-ish, so it was weird.  Ronnie Milsap, Ray Pierce, Willie Nelson… So strange.  It was like the guy put on the XM Serious channel: ‘the music my dad used to listen to’.  I put my make-up on in the car, was dropped at the special section for United people at Newark and realized it was just 59 minutes before my flight.  I was shooed from the Premier line and got a little irritated as my boarding pass screamed to me ‘BOARDING AT 12:39’ which had occurred one minute earlier.  Turns out, I was TSA pre-checked!  How random is that?  The agent raised an eyebrow when I asked how I got TSA pre-checked and replied “you never filled anything out for this!?” but then she winked, giggled and sent me on my merry way.  I saw the gate, spotted my lucky penny, and arrived just as they announced boarding for people like me and Al Roker.  Who, by the way, ordered the steak and woofed it.  He didn’t touch his bread though.  Then the one empty seat in first is next to my window.  🙂

Anyway, my point is that today has been unusually blissful.  In getting back to ‘symbiotic’, perhaps I’ll meet someone, like a book publisher on this trip.  Or who knows, given the chaos I’m certain will be rampant at the Royal Hawaiian the whole time I’m there.  Dreamy VP… who?  No pre-flight call, no little Lizzie for you!  I’m feeling a bit ominous about the adorable ‘package’ I sent him, actually.

Currently over Cleveland.  Only nine more hours to go.  What the hell Roker is having an ice cream sundae!  So is Lauer.  He (Lauer) needs botox.  Kelly, you would cringe at his crow’s feet… come meet us in Hawaii, let’s boost your New York clientele!!!

As for me I’ve got my champagne, Bob Dylan and a plethora of international films ahead of me.  ‘Saturday Night Fever’ is on the movie-list though.  Aww yeah.

Dangling over Denver now.  Hi Aunt Lizzie and Uncle Billy boy!  Love you.  Seriously though, who has seen ‘Horrible Bosses’!!?  This film is so hysterical, I have been laughing out loud through the entire thing. I know someone recommended it, but it is absolutely classic.  A new fave and I usually don’t like those kinds of movies.  Although, maybe some of us remember ‘Very Bad Things’.  Classic.

Sentimentally over San Fran now.  I think for the rest of my life, the first musical note of any Stone Roses song, although ‘Sally Cinnamon’ is unbeatable, will forever perk me up. Time to step up your game, Dreamy VP!  😉  Or stop messing with me, please.  Fortunately,  I have amazing clients, family and friends who’ve helped me keep all that, including my self-worth, in check.  They also send me links to duck-taped humans.  Or wait… just cellophane-wrapped.  Not sure that tidbit accurately précises my ‘I have a great support network’ case.  🙂  but it’s still bizarrely hilarious.

Part way over the Pacific now, Lauer has now put on a scarf and well… we all know I have a thing for men in scarves.  He is pretty hot.  Granted I am three splits in now.  Saw him looking over a couple times.  The flight attendant (from Oz) and I are now pals and when we chat he def looks.  His wife looks kind of unhappy and bitchy.  But thou does not judge for thou was once trapped with F Tom.  Trapped within self-imposed constraints, of course!  The flight attendant informed Matt Lauer that I am at the same resort, how lovely I am, and told him about the resort’s email.  Would it be bad to ask for a fourth split?  It IS a 10-hour flight!  Aw sweet my sheila brought me another without having to ask.  Let’s see if I can get her to broker my transfer deal to the Royal Hawaiian in the Today Show van for when we land!  Gosh I do so love Australians.  And Roker just devoured a choice box snack.  What the heck!?  Poor joke but nonetheless true: he better not poop his pants!

Oh and by the way, have actually just read through ALL my stuff for my now bi-monthly newsletter, turns out United has been doing this pre-TSA check-in for Platinum and up since May 3rd.  Apparently, I should actually do my newsletter every now and again!  Whoops: just like that, Steve Jobs surprises me with ‘Blower’s Daughter’ and I’m literally catapulted into thoughts of the ex-boyfriend.  Sigh.  An ex-boyfriend who has just learned of the Dreamy VP, and dismissed it as ‘silly’… the whole concept, or irrationality of it.  Sigh.  But, to quote Pulp: “this isn’t chocolate boxes and roses, its dirtier than that…” Dreamy is pretty dreamy.  I hope I have a message or email when I land!  Two hours, 17 minutes more to go.

I miss Ashlee.  It’s hard not to when ‘Gangnam Style’ pops on.  Priceless.  This seat 1B was symbolically meant for her.  Let’s get something shaking girl.  It was awfully cute, Ash got a little pissy with me on the phone the other day.  Rightfully so, but Ash, oh my gosh I hope you realize that is part of why I love you so much, because you’re THAT real. 😉

Shout out to all my sisters out there I love SO very much.  I have amazing nephews and witness such incredible positive support on that end.  And then on my other side, I had an unexpected phone call from Kath the other day that I will never forget.  For my whole life.  Best news I’ve ever (and I sincerely mean this!) heard.  xo

Starting our descent!  Watch the Today Show on Monday!  It’s worth a shot, I DVR’ed it.  Never know where Sunday night in Hawaii will lead me.  Especially given I’ll be landing shortly ‘early’ on a Friday night!  It’s been 9 years since I was in Maui with F Tom.

And an o for AJ.  Wait, make that ooo.  Wait now there’s four of them.  The o’s.  No one ever said OCD was easy.  o

Thinking seat 9A is the better way to go

I love the concept of a good surprise.  Though I’ve never really been patient enough to pull off a true up-to-the-moment surprise.  After over three years since my last hometown swing, pre-NYC, I think two days notice on a random Tuesday falls fairly close to ‘surprise’.

However, today is no random Tuesday.  April 23rd… it’s the anniversary of my official departure from Babcock & Brown.  Six years ago today.  This may cause some to sigh with elation in the memory as to how traumatic those days were.  I sure as hell do.

Keeping true to form, I decided to make this anniversary as spectacular as the circumstances it brought to my life are.  I am headed to Santa Barbara, then San Francisco… a bit of an impulsive fly-by.  Which clearly was meant to be as so many elements, and by that I mean business class upgrades, just fell into place.  As Lexi once told me after an impromptu piggy back ride to gym class in the tenth grade: “Everything good happens on a Tuesday!”.  I have a very exciting week lined up.

I’m so used to flying in and out of San Fran, I forgot I was on an LAX flight and started to notice a few old school b-list actors on my flight.  I am so terrible with names, this one guy in the seat just ahead of me to the right would be recognizable, like he was the cook on Facts of Life, or something like that.  Possibly The Love Boat.  Night Court?  His wife is pretty hot for her age, been asleep since the flight took off.  I’m looking forward to my time in the LAX lounge this afternoon before boarding my SBA flight.  I will be primed and well located to stalk out my next new client!  My marketing sense is beginning to return, now that I have this refreshing and incredible renewed sense of freedom, first time since the soon-to-be former LMC Direct’s inception!  I gave an analogy to the Dreamy VP earlier this morning when he called to wish me a good trip, which is hilarious, but might be a bit racy for this audience.  He laughed, so ‘tout va bien’.  Just think of me, actually showered, kleenex boxes at home (Howard Hughes reference) and in the club lounge, working away on her important travel endeavors.  Client bait.  🙂

I’ve said it a bazillion times and I’ve never been as sincere and serious about it as I am now: I have the two most amazing nephews that any human being has possibly ever had.  I would go on that game show in a heart beat: “How Does Your Nephew Match Up”.  And I’d be taking home the prize.  I envision the Cabin Log sty guy from “There’s Something About Mary” as the host.  This spontaneous trip of mine has taken on a sudden unexpected meaning, but I genuinely hope Santa Maria is on my menu for this week.  Though I’m respectful and understand if it doesn’t work for everyone.  Timing.  It’s really an interesting ‘friend’ of mine.  I’ve been known to refer to it as more of a ‘tricky f’er’, but I recognize its significance and work toward taking nothing for granted lately.

For the first time in a long while, I am incredibly excited to visit home.  Dinner at the Rose, lunch at Beachside, non-Palio pork chops…then 75 degree San Fran.  It will be a week full of culinary bliss and grand memories.  And spinning!

Watch out Santa Barbara, I’m about to sprinkle fairy dust over as much of you as I possibly can.  😉  I’m in a ‘dreamy’ state of mind.  An Empire State of Mind.  My surprise SB week was cut short but please trust I’m doing the best I can juggling the priorities, business and absolute musts.  I’d do more if I had the time and flexibility.  San Fran seems like it presently needs no fairy dusting, but I’m going to pop my head in just in case.  I’ll sprinkle birthday dust instead.  Damn, I forgot my red heart wand…

Wait… Charleston Heston is dead, right?  That can’t be him up in seat 8D!!?  Hmmm.

I’m feeling like a little Moulin action might be necessary.  Attencion, mi familia. xxx

o and a special o and ooo to my AJ.  Where’s my gun-to-crowned-head painting!!? 🙂

Come what may…

That was a quick flight!  Back upon NYC reality I descend!  Unless I decide to go out tonight.  Why let a little 9 hour flight stop me!!?  I’ve just gained five hours and have had only five vodkas.  Doesn’t that somehow make me even?  Without even taking into account the hollow left leg!  After the week I’ve had, I deserve it.  And, it’s Sunday.  Ivo works Sundays again!!!  Awesome.  So, to bide the time and distract my disappointed mental state, on the plane, I watched a few old favorites: Closer (swooned over my Damien Rice music), then Black Swan and finished it off with Moulin Rouge.  What a marathon!  And funny how two of my chosen movies end with the chick dying at the end!  I had a laugh remembering something I’d forgotten actually, that the ending of Moulin really happened to me, at Outback Steakhouse in Goleta, which is a Santa Barbara suburb. “Thank you for curing me of my ridiculous obssession with love”, throwing money at my feet, or in my case, on the table where I sat with three close friends.  Oh my gosh, wasn’t that like a grazillion years ago!?  All I remember is being so grateful to Andy, for cracking up because it was all $1 bills.  🙂  Seriously though, who HAS that kind of crazy happen to them in real life!  It was so long ago… I had completely forgotten, to be honest.  Hilarious.  Now.

On to today.  Frankfurt impressed me actually.  The Dreamy VP had to cancel due to work but I’m glad I ended up going anyway.  Granted there is absolutely no reason to ever go, or ever go back, but I did have amazing meals, fab service, cute waiters and one of the best massages in a while.  Rocco Forte is the man… his hotels are perfection.  I did get to witness a fur protest and collected a couple new pieces of jewelry!  And the Eiserner Steg was so charming with all its ‘love padlocks’.  It was truly cold to the bone, which I think NY is meant to be the same.  And, out of maturity (let’s call it), I declined a sincere, random and so kind, invitation to hang out in Dubai for the week.  At Jetsetter’s house, on the beach, with a pool, and her live-in maid.  Yes, despite my attempts at ‘house-cleaner’, that’s what they all refer to them as there!  Never know where the days are going to lead me anymore!  However, I chose the path of conservatism (shocker!) and came home instead of being a waif!  Although no big surprise here, I definitely packed enough.  Shame that new lingerie from the new upper east boutique never made it out of the tissue paper.  Eat your heart out, VP.  😉

It’s been an incredible roller coaster ride the last TWELVE days.  (it feels like months, eh?)  This week sort of put me back into a truly uncomfortable territory, but with my ‘Liz-now’ caution and awareness.  Yet what happens!?  I landed just now, to over-the-top email, voice mail and texts… sigh!!!  At least I know that through the tender loving care of my core people, I can kept my shit together.  At least outwardly.  You know who you are and I love you like crazy.  I’m stealing this but it’s so true: IT DOES TAKE A VILLAGE!!!  This week has been a massive patience test, of which I have none, and a lesson that I can’t yet finger-point as to what it is exactly.

Anyway, I hope as I literally come down out of the sky, I get a little more figuratively grounded as well.  It’s been years (like 7) since I’ve been ‘spinny’ over a guy.  Yes, o AJ… ooo YEARS!  And thanks in advance for my new painting-in-the-works!  ooo  🙂

Disclaimer: bits of this were written at different stages of my day/night.  My attempt at grounding will be interesting!  Que sera sera.  Repeat after me, “que sera sera”.

AJ knows exactly how to pull me out of my crazy! Hilarious.

My future neighborhood, in the 6th arr

Feels like a lifetime since I was scattered and pathetically unedited!  Um… yesterday!  My journalistic guru taught me better… shame on me.  Je ferai mieux.

For me Paris has that certain je ne sais quoi about it, that New York has always had.  I don’t speak french well, or at all.  I can read and write it and if I connect with someone kind and pronounce “lentement, s’il vous plait” well enough I can get possibly hear it.  I have poor grammar and mix up the sexual tenses.  Seriously though, what are those called?  🙂  For instance, I said to the Dreamy VP “suis-je fou!?”.  And he replied, “are you a crazy man!?”  But it doesn’t even matter.  I fit here.  I know my way around, almost inherently.  I can meander through the left bank and find that one little shop on a corner, after a manicure and verre de vin rouge, without having ever looked up at the charming blue rue sign.

Just like all my trips to NYC before the move, I know my neighborhood already.  It’s in the 6th arr on the left bank where things are still really nice, but just a tad more gritty than the Champs Élysées or Etoile.  How boring those others are!  Sure, there’s the Arc de Triomphe and views of Le Tower Eiffel, but the left bank is where it’s at.  For a classy chick like me anyway… with her mini-bar Pringles and ridiculous bottle of Saint-Estephe from the wine shop!

I wasn’t able to sleep much on the plane, so yesterday when I arrived, I force-fed myself lunch, champagne and a xanax, showered, and was in and out of sleep all day and night.  Was absolutely perfect, as I woke up refreshed and watched the sun rise from my balcony this morning.  Then, just like someone who belongs more on the left bank, I threw my hair back and didn’t put on an ounce of make-up and tooled around with my camera.  How gauche!  L’horror!  But those French boys were def an ego booster regardless.  And yes, I did shower!  Sometimes it’s tough to know on that front… haha.

Je mange petit dejourner, took the metro to Montmartre, and was determined to actually see the Moulin Rouge.  Many of you would remember my 10+ year obsession with that movie!  And here’s a warning: I think it might be making a Liz-comeback!  So if I show up on your doorstep with a DVD in hand and a bottle of absinthe, (it is killing me not to say absince on purpose!) you’ll know what’s about to happen!  Kind of makes me sad its been so long since we’ve had one of those nights!  I tried to ‘make’ Ashlee do it, but I’m not sure it’s the same without my in-person zeal.  Hey, maybe I’ll bring it to Chicago next month!!?  😉  Anyway, after a few photos and a walk past more dildo shops than I’ve ever seen, I took the metro back to the Rue de Rivoli, crossed Il-de-Cite and made way to where I am coziest in Saint-Germain/Saint-Michel.  I found a local manicurist online.  She has her own shop tucked away tight on Rue Dupin.  There aren’t 30 people slaving away being barked at by a nail salon godfather.  Just her.  She is amazing.  She took more care than anyone has and I bet these €35 gel nails will stay for weeks!  She let me talk on the phone too which proved helpful with some dreamy fluent french translations.  I could easily imagine myself living in an apartement in one of the buildings in the photo above.  And, according to the nail salon lady, flats in the area run about €1500 per month to rent.  Uh… yeah, pas de probleme!  I shall be tri-continental one day perhaps!  😉  I was able to make that much out with our language barriers!  That, and she’s got a 2 year old son and married to a police officer.  Working that one out was a bit hilarious actually.  Lots of hand gestures.  And not for chicken salad.

I am feeling a bit more grounded now at least.  My intuition rocks, if I do say so myself!  (touch wood everyone!)  Still need to figure out where I will spend the weekend and how next week’s meetings play out.  I will try not to overstay my welcome in the form of these updates, I just had such an exuberant day!

Can’t wait to see what tomorrow brings!  Que sera sera…

Sunrise in the 17th arr

And… she’s off! Jeez, give the girl two months at home, in New York City no less and watch her literally bounce off the walls.  Apparently visitors and local distractors aren’t even helpful.  Of course none of this has a thing to do with the recent meeting I had with a certain Dreamy VP.  😉

During what was a massively distracting week, with a full head… I was just barely pulling myself down to reality long enough to plod through the intricate details of a Europe trip for clients.  I was so jealous.  Their journey started dans mon deuxieme ville preferee, Paris.  I whined a bit to the guys and somehow wriggled my way onto the beginning portion of their trip.  If anything can bring me back to earth, it’s got to be one of the most romantic cities in the world!  Ha!  And funnily enough, it’s where my AJ ‘escaped’ her own head to as well!  The clients will traipse through a few countries back and forth, so I’ll be on my own.  Mornings to myself, to courent sans le beloved Luxembourg de Jardin, watch les enfants sur le carousel, drink champagne in the afternoons, gain some perspective and immerse myself in the french culture which I adore.  Maybe I’ll put Pavane on repeat and wander through the Louvre!  Then have the evenings to work, write and order room service!!!  Maybe even a bubble bath.  I don’t know about anyone else, but there’s just something so enticing about a fancy hotel bubble bath!

I know this all might sound a bit dramatic and indulgent, however, for my mental state, it became an absolute necessity.  And my plan above all sounds lovely, healthy and fabulous in theory, but I would venture to guess there’s some mischief that will creep up next to me and tap on my shoulder, at some point.  Isn’t there always!?  Though it’s doubtful I’ll be kissing any bartenders this time around!  I do have loads of hoteliers I’ve met, some even friends.  Suppose I ought to legitimize this trip with a few sites!  Besides, kicking around Le Meurice, Fouquet Barriere and Bel Ami is not such a bad ‘work day’ to arrange.  And there will be no truffle soufflé this time around either!

Timing is everything: the bumpkin’s NY trip cancelation, my new rock star Ashlee, clients’ plans in the EU, and my two months without a flight in sight.  As I was shutting down the Mac to pack it in for the airport, my lovely designer sent me his second round of the rebrand!  Now I’ve got 7 hours to focus on that project!  Or, just daydream and re-read the same texts and emails that transpired the past six days, over and over and over again.  😉  But the designs are brilliant and I’m getting truly excited and very comfortable with my decisions thus far.  Thanks to a few pushes and shoves and valuable feedback!  The Armani Boy from Dubai is now part of my ‘red team’.  😉

Whenever possible, I try to fly on weekends, or nights when normal working people (though not too many of my clients are really normal, are they) would otherwise be asleep or with their families.  So, it’s kind of fun, I have to figure out where to go for the weekend after Paris!  I could only get the special Liz rate through Friday.  It’s kind of cool to leave it open!  While I might be impulsive and a tad bit spontaneous, I usually have the full plan sorted by this stage.

But in a totally unexpected twist, my presence was suddenly requested in Frankfurt for the next Monday.  So whereas the question was originally posed by asking where should I fly home from, it’s now morphed into where in Europe to kick around from Friday to Sunday!!?  By plane or train?  Suggestions welcomed!  Or projects, site requests or any other distractions which could be thrown my way.  I’m thinking of flying to Berlin for two nights, then taking the train to Frankfurt from there on Sunday.  Have been keen to mingle with the allegedly subversive Viennese though.  A far less desirable project was nixed: to find a fabulous boutique within a 25 mile radius of Leverkusen!

Currently The Stone Roses “I Am The Resurrection” is jamming and has just catapulted me full on… back into ‘dreamy’.  Sigh…

Bonjour Paris, the City of Love (or is it Lights).  Wish me luck with my whole gluten free obsession!  Actually, I’ll be lucky if I can muster up an appetite at all!  Hopefully any further updates will be laced with my usual wit and humor…

PS: there’s almost nothing hotter than a man wearing a scarf!  J’adore l’Europe!

My favorite architecture in the world!

Perfect! Free WiFi, champagne and located just outside my gate!

Emirates is an absolute class-act.  However, on the Dubai side, they wouldn’t allow lounge access at the airport.  How dare they comp me business class flights and three nights at The Armani, yet forbid lounge access in Dubai?  Clearly, I found a perfect alternative and the perfect way to spend my last 200 Dirham.  Moët.

This has been one of the most bizarre weeks I’ve had, on several levels.  Not sure If I explained the program I was invited to participate in.  Emirates launched this global effort to bring people like me from all over the world to show them what its all about.  They made arrangements for people to have various activities available to them throughout the week.  And my infectiously radiant Oz friend works for the airline and was responsible for much of the organization of the event, I learned.  We are now New York, Phuket, Las Vegas and Dubai buddies!  Oh so worldly we are.  😉  Her new nickname is Mrs Jetsetter.

During the economic crisis, Dubai crashed big time.  You know, around 2007-2009.  Was told loads of stories about all the expats abandoning their Mercedes at the airport and getting the hell out of dodge, because it was just cheaper to leave.  Please take into consideration my memory and adorable quirk of misquoting facts… I think I have it sort of right though.  Sheikh Khalifa of Abu Dhabi, and President of UAE finally bailed the sheikh of Dubai out, as they are inter-related through one of their several wives.  Gave Dubai a few billion to work with.  So Dubai was free to do with this money as they wished.  Given there actually is not any oil in Dubai, the emirate is pushing hard now to bring in the tourism money.

There were only a handful of travel people at the Armani.  Most were German and Russian.  Then, there was the mini-me, a blondie from New York with the red lipstick.  Sweet thing, just 23 years old and relatively new in a storefront NY agency doing leisure travel like cruises and crap like that.  She is a blast though, and well… we all know me!  We were like a really cute Mutt & Jeff all week!  I did my part to show her the finer skills of networking.  😉

I actually ran into a couple other people I’d met in Cannes in December.  Or Vegas last August.  Bizarre.  But for me, trips like this really are about relationships with hoteliers, airlines and land operators.  Mini-me and I took full advantage of some of the fabulous activities arranged.  It was tough because there were some early starts and remember I have to keep up with the regular biz.  London would wake up around 1:00pm, NY around 4:00pm and then SF/Seattle.  I was up working until nearly 3:00am every night.  But it was well worth it.

The desert safari was really fascinating.  We had the coolest driver (who took extra special care of mini-me!), drove us to the dunes, 4x4ing through the largest sand desert on the planet.  Then we met up with my Jetsetter for a massive desert party filled with camel rides, falcons, palm reading, belly dancing, fire dancers and henna artists.  Oh yeah, and the hookah.  It was over-the-top but fabulous.  Of course sweet Jetsetter invited me to join her hotelier tables, and I brought mini-me along as well.  It was an absolute blast.  It was set up like the desert scene from Sex And The City 2 movie, with ‘chairs’ being pillows on the desert ground covered with massive Persian rugs.  Of course I’m seated with some people I’ve never met before, all hilarious… but next to this smug Brit with whom the banter was quality.  He just happens to be the Armani guy, so I was of course appreciative for my lovely accommodation at his hotel.  Totally spoiled with such amazing industry hospitality!

As some of you may know, I’m going to really focus on growth in 2013.  New look, new logo, new staff and potentially a new name.  The Armani boy, knowing me for just a few short minutes, launched right into massively teasing me about my company name.  His timing was so ironic as my designer had just sent his first draft of new names… and he was hysterical.  He carried that pathetic LMC card around all week long and continued the banter.  Busting it out whenever I got lippy or like when the executives of Emirates would come find me to chat.  Oddly enough, other Emirates employees, hoteliers and Arabian Adventures people were curious how did I know so many people already!  One even asked me to make an introduction, which of course I obliged.  Hilarious!  I know people because Jetsetter introduced me and I speak articulately about the several interesting facets of our businesses.  Just such a bizarre week.  The people I met (or were reintroduced to) will be with me for a long time.  The group’s last night gala was basically my having a fabulous time with all my friends, being dragged into the corporate photos, dancing at Prive, where the Armani boy slyly stocked the tables with Grey Goose.  There were so many randoms.  A few guys trying to get me to join them in feeding the sheikh’s lions later that night, attempts at dancing the tango, and listening to a rather talented duo belt out Celine Dion and Andrea Bocelli.

Most people flew to their homes yesterday morning, but I chose the 2:00am flight so I would be on the ground in time for clients, and a snowstorm apparently !!! for Friday morning.  I was not aware when I booked that Emirates has better WiFi than Starbucks.  It worked out rather well as it allowed time for dinner with my new smug friend on Thursday night, which is the start of the UAE weekend.

I know many of you think I’m a bit nuts, but I never go looking for freebies, these opportunities fall into my lap.  But I truly believe it’s a reflection of my work ethic and dedication.  All this hotel and airline executive networking has proved to benefit my clients time and time again.  It was an amazing opportunity, filled with unbelievable contacts!

Have started my decent into New York.  Clients still hopefully resting after their weather apocalypse panic yesterday…

Dubai is a bit weird.  Almost indescribable.  I was in an Armani Residence so I couldn’t have booze in my room, yet, last night I had loads of charcuterie and osso bucco for dinner.  Hypocrisy at it’s finest?  Tallest building in the world, biggest mall in the world, highest restaurant in the world, biggest fountain show in the world and of course, the largest sand desert in the world.  Largest sand desert because it’s very clean sand, no stones and dust.  I learned a lot about the middle east and most importantly, that the world really is not so scary.

Wheels to tarmac!  Hello JFK, where is all this supposed snow!!?  Or is just American media hype!?  I know, I know… it’s not like my country to hype up anything in the media.  😉

Bye-bye East 74th Street, I’m headed to the desert!

Oh life is strange!  A couple weeks ago, if that, I was en route to London for some meetings and to make up for broken promises from December.  As surreal as it was and definitely must have sounded, the day I was leaving, I was randomly invited to Dubai.  I’m a bit tough to keep up with these days, so it seems.

I’ve just boarded my Emirates flight from New York to Dubai.  I’m excited to meet up with my lovely Oz girl and wonder if I might get to finally meet her hubby!  I’ve had my Vueve Cliquot dinner and am now seated in an almost-private suite on the A380 aircraft.  I didn’t even have to leave the lounge to board the plane!  It is really fancy and simply amazing.  I have my own little personal minibar fresh with Voss, 7Up and Perrier, literally just to my left!  I’ve got two televisions.  One bigger screen directly in front and a little iPad mini sized one to the left, lest I decide to turn my pretty little head.  The menu is pages long, as this 13-hour flight serves three meals.  Page one showcases their booze.  Shoot, the vodka is Grey Goose.

Some of you may have recently been victims of my complaints about having hearing problems in my left ear.  Obviously I fly often enough so I suppose it shouldn’t be such a big surprise.  Mainly it was happening while at home, working away, and my left ear would just go into this weird muffled-like zone, kind of like how it feels with the pressure change on a flight… but in like 3 minute-long spurts.  Then everything I hear sounds like I’m listening to the teacher from The Peanuts Cartoons!  I regret to admit that I have officially self-diagnosed myself with tinnitus.  And I know the exact moment it happened, which wasn’t even within 24 hours of a flight!  In London a week or so ago, I walked into a busy restaurant in Chelsea.  I spotted my girlfriend, waved and was fussing with coat-check.  Halfway to our table, my left ear had a little: pop!  No pain, no big sound and oddly no muffley feeling.  Yep, I’ve got the ringing!  It has not let up, for a second, since January 23rd.  Luckily it’s not very loud.

I am possibly more excited for this trip than I have been for one in a long time.  I think Dubai is going to be something unlike anything else I’ve experienced.  We shall see!

Oh and big welcome to LMC’s new employee in a couple weeks!!!  SO excited.  We’ve got the bumpkin to thank for that one!  Just need to work on your palate, girl, so we can go to a non-American cuisine restaurant together!  Speaking of the bumpkin, apparently he’s just booked himself flights to NYC !!? and asked if he could ‘stay at mine’.  WTH?  I’m conflicted with my American close-minded upbringing and trying not to be so uptight about it.  He’s a Brit, that’s all it is – very comfortable being a squatter.  Hope he likes my new couch!  It really is quite cozy!  😀

I have to shut down now, doors are shut, unexpectedly, but I promise more once I land as long as I’m not sold into Arabian slavery!

Warm and cozy with the fireplace, inside the gorgeous Baglioni Hotel

Had one of those amazing flights, again, which will hopefully prove to deliver another a long-lasting friendship.  This gorgeous black man from the club lounge, who was secretly wanting to bring me cheese and crackers and then let me cut in line with him to board the flight, happened to be my seat mate.  Our supposed 7-hour flight was oddly short and we were unprepared given the titillating conversation and lack of any rest.  The Pisces and the Scorpio.  Say no more.  Both with amazing careers that could, or more accurately, should potentially benefit one another.  This man delivered me the best three lines I might have ever heard, the first one being, “You seem like a woman I might have a use for”.  The second hilarious one we both already forgot, and the last, after they shut down the main cabin lights: “Can you see me right now?  I’m black.”.  C’est la vie, pour moi.  We could not stop laughing… so hilarious!!!  Our champagne and chardonnay journey ended with a freaking train ride into Paddington.  How have I let this gorgeous black man lead me to a train and taxi instead of car service?   I am finally solo having champagne breakfast at The Baglioni Hotel, overlooking Hyde Park in Kensington, next to a crackling cozy fireplace and watching the snow fall while I wait for my park view room to be readied.  Yay… it’s snowing in London!!!

This week has been an odd one, though massively productive.  My sleep patterns are not quite normal after last month’s world tour, but there’s no sense in rectifying now, and you’ll soon understand why.  I had a fabulous end to the week, no real loose ends which is rare.  Today, I apparently watch snow and drink champagne.  Yesterday I had lunch with a friend and got a well-needed lesson in packing.  (thank you, for my $20 Arm & Hammer travel-sized toothpaste!).  I was sent off with my super sweet Polish driver and had a relatively stress-free day!

I have to share what I woke up to this morning.  I received an invitation to participate in something, not quite sure what, but industry-related.  The dates so conveniently fall between my London trip, my pitch meeting with the event-heavy salon where I get my hair done, and the next trip to San Fran.  I registered, it asked for passport information, and was immediately confirmed for this “whatever-it-is” trip to Dubai!  Huh!?  Alrighty then.  I had to get up and packing for London so not a lot of time to digest.  A lovely industry friend, was former sales director of an amazing property I stayed at in Phuket, Thailand has just moved back to Dubai and accepted a job with Emirates, the UAE airline.  She has done me and my clients right and knows me well enough from fun nights out in Phuket and Vegas.  We hadn’t caught up in a while… so now was as good a time as any and maybe she’ll be able to give me a sneak peek of what I’ve just gotten myself into.  Turns out it is a business class flight on Emirates, and three (or could be two) nights hotel, and I’m unclear of the obligations while in Dubai.  Hello Dubai!  Wow!  Yes Gram, I am headed to a Muslim middle eastern country and I will be FINE!  You cannot worry yourself sick, as I will be with friends, hosted, and possibly in another UAE brothers’ business venture: a Jumeirah hotel, which are usually the ‘best of the best’.

Tomorrow I am meant to have lunch with the country bumpkin I met in Argentina last year, at the pub.  Whilst here in December, he met Ashlee and I out on our first night, and was hilarious.  I was sick as a dog, being fed lemon ginger tea in between my gooses, and it all ended with his mum’s cold pizza in the back of his car.  🙂  This time around, the bumpkin even made a reservation at a restaurant overlooking London Tower.  I love being in this time zone and bonus: America will be relaxed with their US holiday tomorrow!

Every day that I live continues to deliver the unexpected, and usually in the most fabulous ways.  LMC Direct will turn four years old on March 5th.  I’m rebranding, possibly renaming and am consistently proud of my work, my ethic and integrity and the unbelievable network I have been fortunate enough to grow.  Happy New Year to me.  Seriously.

Now the xanax I took on the short plane ride is starting to kick in.  Couldn’t possibly be all the champagne!  Though the Sunday Moët is sort of free flowing at the beautiful Baglioni (eat your heart out over there in your central London condo), but now I really want my room.  The view is stunning, but I have early client dinner tonight and no recreational vicodin to help me just power through.  And yes, I realize this is not one of my wittiest pieces of work and should therefore call it a day (or night?).  My loose schedule this full London week will hopefully provide something a bit more entertaining later on.

Ah, five more minutes for my room to be ‘sorted’ out.   😉

We learned this trick from the best… and had a *really* big bottle of goose to polish off!

I feel as though I’ve used up about seven of my nine lives on just this trip alone, with my tattered Langham Love painted nails.  I’ve just executed one of the most well run, thoroughly enjoyed and over-the-top successful events in my career.  Although upon quick reflection, they are all usually quite good if I do say so myself.  This trip has been flailed by injury and illness, but I persevered nonetheless!  I do feel a bit like Wonder Woman, as some clients refer to me.  Either that or Carrie from Homeland, which is growing a bit tired to hear.  Although an odd little fun-for-the-farm fact I learned today is that the actual ‘Brody’ was in our hotel this week.  I really am not a slutty little stalker!  😉

Am in 2A on KLM, glass of champagne in hand, back at Schiphol, with ‘Oppan Gangnam Style’ eternally seared into my temporal lobe, relishing in the fact that I honestly don’t really have to use my vocal chords for at least another 13 hours.  I’m quite lucky to be here, again, at the Amsterdam airport.  I had an amazing day Wednesday.  It went long and hard from about 7:00am to 2:00am with little room for sustenance, with the exception of Ash and my frenzied chicken club, which ended up mostly on their nice shag carpet.  Clearly, Ashlee and I had our priorities set straight and came to the event well prepared for the weak ass London pours.

We rocked that company party’s world.  And we did it amidst my crazy busy, lack of preparation and full-on massive head-cold.  Things just went our way and Ashlee had a TON to do with that.  A perfect team… which did not go unnoticed.  The guys were teasing me last night when Ash said she was going out with a younger client, at like 1:00am, and I got a little tug on the heart strings. Like, “should I let her” and “make sure you text me when you get home”.  I don’t know how you kid-people do it.

Anyway, as many of you know… I tend to pack heavy.  Which is then even an understatement.  So you can imagine a week in Cannes, weekend in Amsterdam, and a week of event-execution in London had my room in a bit of shambles when I woke up yesterday at 9:03am realizing I had no text!  I rang Siegel Woman Número Tres several times and then went down to help her pack, get her sorted and get the scoop.  Then I sort of had this vertigo experience when I walked into my disaster area of a room.  Where do you even start!!?  Wednesday I drugged and drank myself into fake wellness.  Yesterday… not so much.  But I got ‘er done.  Slowly and surely.  I developed one of the worst head colds and chest coughs EVER on my last day in Amsterdam, deel een, and the cold air and talking have been absolutely brutal.  Painful even!  The Langham hippo and ginger lemon tea in my room was comforting though.  I hope I did well and managed a little time for a small London tour for Ash.  ANYWAY, I got all my crap packed into a now 32kg suitcase, dropped stuff with clients, met with a partner and had my taxi on order at the time I was told.  I look a bit gimpy but I no longer care (until Saturday!).  I was told London City Airport would be FAR more convenient, and it took me about one hour 45 minutes to get there.  Missed my flight.  Called Delta to fix me up and they secured me on their last flight to Amsterdam.  I had to go to AMS in order to utilize the very expensive ticket I bought long before all these other complications came into play.  Seriously, the CityJet people could not help, under any circumstance, unless I paid $3k for the 40 minute flight separate, and possibly lose the biz class 12 hour flight to SF tomorrow in that process.  It was too stressful to even try to relay, but together we all made it happen.  Me: on the phone to Delta, them: checking my 32k bag through to SFO to allow for the weight, and then the amazing tall CityJet man who all but carried me through security and the airport to get me on my flight.  I cannot believe it happened.  But I made it to Schiphol!!!  What an ordeal.  I’m not quite sure what would have happened had that man not taken me under his wing.  I gave him the Harrod’s chocolate I intended to share with the fam at AJ’s wedding, but, at least I WILL be present.  And yes, I’ve just touched wood.  This morning checking in brought more chaos and confusion.  Whoever said tears at an airport doesn’t pay off is mistaken.

I might not be in a body cast, but FFS I made it happen through some serious strife and tribulation!  And even though I’ll arrive SF today in my second day joggers and Sheraton brand shampooed hair, I will BE there.

Good news is the Schiphol shops are so fantastic I bought new panties and socks!

Ashlee Siegel: my clients have already expressed their hope to work with you in the future, and no, not just your last night cohort.  They, and me as well if not more, am so grateful.  YOU nailed it.  You saved me and this would have been absolute shite without you.  Thank you!!!  I wish you had more time to see more of London than Ryman’s and Washstone’s.  You’re on call for next time.  It’s undecided either Shanghai or New York next year.  Your presence has already been requested.

Do you think those MFs even noticed our cut-out logo circles on the tissue paper!!?  Telly did.  😉

Gotta shut down.  Watch out SF here I come.  Oppan Gangnam Style!

In love with Amsterdam, it’s canals, Indonesian food and charm

Just when I thought I was secure with my future intention of defecting the US for France, I am deeply enchanted by Amsterdam.  And no, not because the other night walking through the ‘red light’ district with a local, a friendly stranger on a Zijstraat shared a quick puff with me, unsolicited.  But despite the snow and 25 degree weather, this charming Dutch city full of style, handsome tall men in scarves, mad bikers, coffee shops and canals has stolen my heart.  Holland’s unique kiss-kiss-kiss, three times rather than the European standard two, well… that sealed the deal.

Yesterday I slept late, went for lunch and my nail appointment, had drinks and Dutch Voorgerechten with a hotelier, then bundled up, as it was then 20 degrees out and decided to experience my first coffee shop.  It was so cold but people were still out, on their bikes and just generally good-spirited.  I did it!  And it was very cool.  Something you just have to experience to understand.  I kind of wanted to buy a cake and try to smuggle it into London today, but decided against.  Walking home, through the quiet cobblestoned streets and canals that I imagine are exactly as they must have been in the 17th century… I felt a little bit like Lara from Dr. Zhivago.  Wrong country, I know.  But so enchanting and historic, I heard some distant clock striking ten o’clock.  I bet those clock bells have rung every night for a few hundred years.

I went a bit hard my first night here, after an interesting day departing Cannes.  Most flights to Amsterdam were cancelled due to snow, and my flight was delayed by four hours.  I spotted an Amsterdam new hotel’s General Manager after check-in, we’d met briefly here and there throughout the week, like on the Hyatt Yacht outside the Palais des Festivals.  Anyway, I invited him up to the Air France lounge with me since there is next to nothing after security in the Cote d’Azur Airport.  He knew I was staying at the renowned Hotel de L’Europe, and an hour or two in, a few wines later, he called his people and I hear him saying something about transport for Ms Costello and Hotel de L’Europe.  I had no idea the hotel existed as it only opened four weeks ago.  The day went on, and the German born world-traveling GM and I discussed how to become an ex-pat, US politics, other parts of the world, families, etc.  Just before boarding we were looking at pictures of his award winning design hotel and I began to wonder why I wasn’t staying there!  He suggested I cancel my current hotel but I was outside cancellation policy.  As we boarded our flight, we called (from his phone!) the De L’Europe and told a white lie of a flight cancellation and poof, I was staying at the best hotel in Amsterdam.  The GM had a canal view room all arranged, a bottle of champagne waiting and even made the nail appointment for me.  My arrival to Holland couldn’t be more special.  After a tough week of taking care of others, quite intensely, I’ll admit it was nice to feel a bit babied.  That luxury continued into the wee hours of the night, having a rice table at an Indonesian restaurant with a local client of a client, and his British buddy.  It was hilarious, though my voice is now shot.  Thankfully, Andaz has supplied me with verviene tea and honey to sooth the chords.

I was a bit sad to leave Cannes.  After being reminded of its beauty and near perfect culture, then having an unexpectedly successful and enjoyable week, albeit intense beyond imagination.  I am comforted by the fact this conference will now be my early December ritual.  I met the most amazing people, the personal contacts are priceless.  Even though Ashlee and I are now required to wear OPI’s ‘Langham Love’ pink nail polish next week in London, it’s a fun trade off to make with the hotel’s boss’ boss for having haggled the use of his posh bar for my group, free of charge.

The last night in Cannes was the only night I went to one of the several lavish parties I was invited to.  At the famed Carlton Hotel, an InterContinental. Wow.  Dark rooms, purple neon and smoke all over the floors, followed by Cirque du Soleil dancers and sexy amazing french women just rocking the latest pop music, it was truly an experience in itself.  A luxury Madrid hotel owner and I ganged up on our new Roma best friend and pushed him into the spotlights, amongst many other funny hilarious antics throughout the night.  It was spectacular.  Only bummer was I was in flat boots and couldn’t really dance with all these amazing European men, as I ordinarily would have.  Even though the magical French with their creams and Compeed cured my foot, I still erred on the side of caution.  The friends I’ve made truly are good friends to have.

Thus far, my trip has been chalk full of pleasant surprises, unbelievable business and one exciting thing after another!  Though I’m now sad to be leaving Amsterdam, I have the Thalys to Brussels connecting to the Eurostar to London, which I’ve never done before.  I can only be excited about that!  What is it about me that gets off so much on logistics?  Who needs South America?  Seriously.

Looking forward to meeting Ms Siegel this afternoon in London and am hopeful her jet lag won’t be so severe and we can goof off a bit in the UK!  Was really cute last night on the phone, going over all the steps and what to do or expect when she lands.  Part of Ash’s first call to order was to pick up the duty free in LAX.  I woke up today to two texts saying “They don’t have Vueve, only Moët.  But they have the Goose!”.  So cute.

I really will miss Amsterdam, and could spend so much more time here.  I am happy to be here in the winter and snow.  I look forward to coming back (hint, hint AJ) very soon.

But, off to London I go!  A week full of managing a client’s events, keeping up the regular business and drinks out with three unrelated friends who live there.

Been an amazing time so far, despite it’s panicked beginning.

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Good as new at the Virtuoso closing party at the infamous Carlton Hotel