lizgeorjon

A view of the Bosphorus and the Anatolian side of Istanbul

Unbelievable.  Anyone with preconceived thoughts that Turkey sounds too far away, too Muslim (whatever that even means), or too sketchy is just plain crazy.  Note that I refrain from saying ignorant.  As I hope the translation in my subject line reads: “I found my third favorite city, ever”.  At least that’s what it is meant to mean.

I have been here 24 hours and it’s just something you ‘know’, I suppose.  Sort of how I ‘knew’ with New York and Paris.  This might not have (yet) moved me like Jerusalem did, but then again… I AM completely non-religious anyway.  Jerusalem, compared to Istanbul, is like a tourist destination, like the Las Vegas of the middle east.  I know, I know… that’s an exaggeration as it is the birth place of a bunch of religious sites.  But I’ve been there so I feel entitled to say what I want about it.

I am four hotel sites in after a seven mile morning jog along the Bosphorus, and having quite possibly one of the best glasses of red wine I’ve ever had, Turkish of course.  To hell with my Chelsea Handler vodka diet, for now anyway.  I was just privileged enough to site the 9-room Les Ottomons, where Donald and Ivanka Trump checked out of last week.  Les Ottomons is where I sit now, overlooking the Bosphorus and loving this Sarafin Cabernet.  And I am apparently sitting across from a football team owner, and I’m not talking NFL.  Major Turkish VIP.  I will be upset if I learn it’s Galatasaray!

I have experienced so much in such little time.  I haven’t even been to the Blue Mosque or Sultanahmet yet, or across the Bosphorus to the Asian, Anatolian, side of Istanbul.  How fantastic is it to be able to cross a continent, yet remain in one city, let alone one country.  And, I love their flag.  It is flown nearly everywhere and I think, is beautiful.

Istanbul is big, diverse, authentic, cultural and just absolutely fabulous.  It lacks the snobbery of Paris, the chaos of Bangkok, and the gimmickry of Jerusalem.  I did not learn much more than merhaba but I’m getting along just fine.  MORE than fine.  I’m excited to be staying another three nights!  Since Turkey joined the EU in 2005, it has (I think) the fifth best economy in all of the EU.  It is educated, totally kick-back yet dynamic.  It is where the west meets the east!

Oh, and my flight… Turkish Airlines… wow!  Possibly best flight ever, in contention only with Air France’s new A380.  The food was amazing.  The amenities.  The time even was perfect.  I left New York at midnight, so I was in the air when clients would think I was sleeping.  I ate my truly delicious meal and slept until my next delicious meal an hour before landing.  Right now it’s 6:30pm here, and I’m a little tired.  I have the mornings to enjoy and afternoons for meetings, then along with a dab of jet lag, America is awake and ready for biz!  Thank goodness one of my busiest clients is on retreat this week!

I am as excited to bring everyone I know Turkish Delight.  Almost as enthused as AJ and I were for Belgian chocolates.  I was making my way back to my hotel after the jog, and just happened to find Taksim, or Beyoglu (kind of reminescent of the cute Brussels town) with shops, restaurants and boutiques.  Thankfully, I live where I do and frequent a multi-cultural restaurant with whom I’ve made close friends, one being Turkish.  I was told (a couple times) about Turkish Delight, but today I sampled the pomegranate Turkish Delight with pistachios.  Incredible.  I am so excited to hand pick my boxes of it!  Will try not to do so when I’m not ‘pee crazy’. Haha.

I am staying at Pera Palace which was just bought by Jumeirah.  And those UAE brothers know how to spend money well!  The hotel itself is the oldest in Istanbul, and was frequented by Agatha Christie and Ernest Hemingway.  They were ‘regulars’.  The property boasts the oldest elevator in Turkey, and the second oldest in all of Europe, second only to the Eiffel Tower.  It was built in 1892.  The hotel closed for four years and is a real gem.  I am very excited for my first hammam in their spa.  A little bit curious too.  As I sited the Four Seasons Bosphorus today, I drilled their ‘#1 award winning’ spa about what it even is!  I know it’s a Turkish bath, but still… someone is going to scrub me?  Do I wear a cosi, or just go with a towel?  And then seeing this cold-looking flat hard surface on which the ‘treatment’ is performed definitely has me intrigued.  I hope it’s not painful like the royal Thai massage was in that weird body suit!

I’ll keep you posted on that, the whirling dervishes, and Restaurant Kalamar in Kumkapi, which a lady from Izmir told me is a touristy ‘fish’ location!?

The Four Seasons sales director just emailed me his mobile number… what do you think that means!?  😉

The second oldest elevator in Europe

Antigua. Phonetically pronounced: Anteeg-a.  Many of you most likely know I have a tendency to procrastinate when it comes to my end-of-month, the newsletter, and worst of all: packing for a trip.  As much as I love airports, flying and just traveling in general… I am so weird when it comes to packing!  (some of you might remember ‘the beast’ suitcase with clothes and a whole other one with shoes).  Anyway, a friend and I had a flight scheduled to depart from Newark at 9:30am yesterday.  I do not like Newark.  I do not like Penn Station.  I do not like the west side of NY, or New Jersey whatsoever for that matter.  (okay, the Shore WAS nice)

I thought it sounded like a perfect solution for my friend and I traveling together to meet at my house and have Admire take us to Newark, and enjoy our ride: imbibe in a little morning champagne along the way.  You know: the usual.

My business makes me insane, as much as I love it, and YES I need more help, but for those of you clients (whom I cherish and can never say no to): YOU MAKE ME CRAZY!   Or in the words of my beloved brother-in-law, “I love you baby, but god damn”, so I was up Thursday night until 3:00am wrapping up what I could.  I didn’t pack.  I (thought) I set my alarm for 5:00am.  My friend’s text that she was on her way to my house at 7:15am WOKE my stupid ass up.

Now, as close as I’ve cut it, or as much as I push the envelope, I have never missed a flight.  Well… I’m sticking with that story because I feel January 2nd was not within my control, nor did it affect anyone else.  Well, anyone else’s travel (and I secretly liked staying extra in Denver!).

How pathetic: new fabulous girlfriends I’ve never traveled with before and I come off like a hot mess.  They’re kind and forgiving, thankfully.  Ultimately, we left my house at 8:00am yesterday (okay, 8:05am- impressive from 7:15am wake-up no matter how you slice it) and leapfrogged between the upper east side, Jersey, JFK, and Puerto Rico… what-ev… we’re all here now!  And Puerto Rico provided the perennial duty free stop for Vueve, and a new discovery: Belvedere “Intense”.  Travel professional extraordinaire at her best here.  Ha.  Bringing the A-game.

We’re staying at Carlisle Bay.  It’s gorgeous.  Our room overlooks the beach and is upwards of 1200 square feet.  The ocean is oddly a little cool.  Not as warm as Caymans OR Florida last year.  Our Antiguan waiter informed us we should go have Italian tonight at Abracadabra in English Harbour, which turns into Caribbean dance club afterwards.  Perfect.  Perhaps a little Cabo-like action is in my very-near future!  There was a boat out nearby in the bay I kind of wanted to scope out, but it was nothing like ‘The Cowboy’.

Apparently on Sundays, there is an incredible day full of fun that awaits, at some local establishment which is on the highest point of the island, which is said to have THE most incredible views ‘in the world’… along with a Steel Band during the day, followed by other awesomeness afterward.  Our (hotel) waiter has already insisted our first round of drinks at this Shirley Heights, is on him, since he and the locals are also Sunday frequenters.

Anyway, it’s just day one.  I feel like I have work somewhat under control.  Granted I have put-off a new corporate client debrief, debates about which direction is best to travel within France, an Argentinean New Years extravaganza, wedding planning (good god-not mine), and a handful of summer/spring vacations.  BUT, I did work out this morning and researched (from the viewpoint in this picture) for my newsletter already, which yes, it will be late again, and boring as hell.

Ah! Afternoon tea just arrived!

A bientot!  Wishing everyone a Happy Thanksgiving.  Aunt Jeanne and I are happily sipping Sancerre, dans le salon of our 4-star boutique hotel in the heart of St. Germain, on the left bank (of Paris, which is no where near a SunTrust Bank).

We exhausted our welcome at Le Meurice, where we got ripped in the bar on our first night.  🙂  Well not ripped, but I decided nous avons besoin de deux Gris Goose martinis avec des moins olives, or: ‘we need martinis’ after no sleep, jet lag, dinner and beaucoup vin.  Next thing you know, I was speaking French, we were on the phone to this couple (who were clearly playing hookie just to hang out apres-midi), and our cute bartender was telling us to say we were married to protect us from the big old, fat Portuguese guy who I think wanted to take us to Brazil.  Somehow we woke up the next morning in our room, AJ in her PJs, and me, well… I was there, alright!?

The next day we walked the Champs Élysées down to the Arc de Triumphe, along the Illuminations 2011, which, if you read my newsletter you’d know was erected (our new word) in October for the holidays.  We made it to the Arc and some dumbass (me) saw people on top of it as we were leaving.  So we went back and 297 stairs later (in heels, mind you)… we joined them.  Lovely view.  Learned a little.  I must digress though: I had the bright idea of wearing new boots on the plane from NY, so as not to pack four tall boots (along with five jackets).  Let’s just leave it at the fact that I left them, purposely, at Le Meurice.  They gave me a blister in the short time I had them on in transit.  I needed a little bandaid for my heel.  And they have magic bandaids in France!!!  They healed me in one half a day.  Weirdest thing.  Compeed!  I’m obsessed.  I am now forever in hunt of la pharmacie avec Compeed.

I had to site a 5+ star boutique right off the Champs Élysées on Wednesday, where they insisted we enjoy the 1-star Michelin restaurant, of 3-star Michelin chef: Michel Troisgros.  Aunt Jeanne was complaining that ‘I made her do this’, ‘why did I make her eat all this’.  It was a lot, and took forever.  (poor us, right!?)  Our several courses, were all good (I had one exception) until the last dessert.  It was so terrible we were almost gagging and seriously could not stop hysterically laughing for five minutes.  Valentino, the hotel’s GM had just left our table, thank god, before we took our bites.  We left a very generous tip for a fully comped €300 lunch and got the hell out of there.  😀

Thanksgiving dinner was at Les Bouquinistes, a Guy Savoy restaurant that we really enjoyed.  No poop consistency soufflé to report.  We head to Brussels tomorrow on the Thalys, which will be very interesting even though everyone I know warns how dull it is.  We’ll stay in the infamous Hotel Amigo by the brilliant Rocco Forte and I will really love that.  We will search for chocolates and some action while I (hopefully) drink my beloved Duvel.  We are both looking forward to this experience.

I went for a run around les jardins Tuilleries, and realized I have the same feelings inside about Paris as I did New York.  If you remember my notes from France a few years ago, this trip, for me, has just been a further reassurance I think I will live here one day.  I’ve been saving up all our €2 pieces for the lotto.  So all week we’ve been walking around with our ‘lotto money’.  I’m not really a lotto person.  Might buy once a year if I have a weird lucky feeling about me and a good horoscope.  Regardless, the Paris lotto we will find.  And more Compeed.

Happy T peeps. Je t’aime!!!

Tomb of the Unknown Soldier at Arc de Triomphe

Yep. Here’s Singapore! Boring…

Actually, I think I was back to new as soon as I got the hell out of Chiang Mai.  It (clearly) didn’t agree with me.  I don’t get that place.

I really enjoyed my time in Phuket though!  The resort I was at was literally 15 minutes from the airport and in an area still considered rural, not near Patong Beach, which is where the party happens.  But it’s just SO beautiful.  The property, Trisara, has very detail nailed.  And after this many nights and moves, you notice these things!  Such as, they had a lemon wrapped in plastic in the minibar.  They had some comp minibar items and plenty of choices otherwise (so you didn’t have to call out to an annoying Judi-like type butler).  iPod dock, instant connect to WiFi, CLEAN and beautiful plunge pool.  Everything was nicer than you’d install at your own house.  Or at least, just as nice.   🙂

The food was awesome and I had to do my newsletter, which is basically what happened as pictured below, the last two days.  But I did actually go out to Chengarenelay (or something like that) which was awesome, fabulous restaurant could very well have been in NYC, called The Supper Club, which has many connotations for me actually!  Remember when all I wanted for my 32nd birthday was to do something fun NOT in Moraga (East Bay SF) and FT didn’t want to deal with the bridge?  Instead I got pants.  SO funny!  (or not so funny given that I needed pants because I was so miserable I couldn’t fit into 0s).  Come on Aunt Jeanne, give me some lovin’ on the FT- you know what it means baby!  Kind of like ‘show her the stairs!!!’.  Awww now that makes me nostalgic  😦

Whoops I digressed.  Anyway, Phuket was fab but work is exploding so I am running on about 3 hours sleep and meant to meet up with new client’s male-love-fest pal (kind of like the Justin Dwyer of his crowd).  He’s stuck at work, but has been advised to take me to Raffles for an original Singapore Sling.  I have no clue what to expect, aside from hearing last time my client and he were together, they were racing one of his many ferrari and masserati down the clean Singapore streets in the middle of the night, trashed, looking for cigars which are banned in Singapore!

So I’m currently at the Ritz Club Lounge, where the Moet is flowing (impressive) and I’m overlooking a weird harbor with lots of funky shaped buildings.  The lights go dim and bright in this room for a pause like every five minutes.  Does someone have OCD or is there an electrical problem?  I swear this guy behind me is going to hurl though.  So I’m not staring but I can hear like a blind person.  He has gotten up like every four or five minutes and then there are slurping sounds and silverware clinking.  When I have ‘stretched’ to look back, he’s never at the table but his wine is full.  So he’s up every five minutes but every 2 minutes or so, he’ll make this god awful moan like he’s just dry heaved.  Then a minute goes by, I make an excuse to look, he’s not there, then moments later the slurping resumes.  Weird.  Dude, just stop eating!  I know it’s free and you want to maximize your Ritz investment.  But there is Moet over there!!!  Instead of that gut rot Chard you’re drinking.

It is now time for me to make my way over to Raffles.  Will be interesting to see how I pull through on my upcoming (Sep 11th) 6:00am departure back to NYC.  6:00am.  I had no other options!  Let’s see: free business class ticket at 6:00am, or not.  Duh.

Hope our Tapper is doing well on the UES.  Can’t wait to see my neighborhood crew who will give me all the dirt on his last two weeks!  😀  Hope you’ve enjoyed Tapper Boy, glad it worked out!

The plunge pool at Trisara, in Phuket. Just gorgeous…

I’ve really been wanting to lose 5 pounds… I’ve come to Chiang Mai and lost 3 kilograms!  Not so impressed with Chiang Mai!  Am now, by some grace of good fortune, boarded a flight to Phuket.  And quite frankly, most of all I have to take away from it is a doctor’s certificate for the meds I was given, considering I’m soon moving on to Singapore.

I did not go to Patpong Market in Bangkok.  And I did get up super early to go to Chatuchak.  I haven’t been eating or drinking much (or really at all outside 5-star hotels) but somewhere between Bangkok and Chiang Mai, I got pretty sick.  It didn’t hit me until middle of the night Sunday night.  Chiang Mai is very rainy, it’s rainy season… and there were notices about chemical jet spraying for the Mosquitos, at the Mandarin Oriental.

Anyway, Monday I downplayed feeling badly, did four hotel sites and then found this lovely expat joint (pictured) that made me feel like I definitely was far away home.  I met a few Brits, had a couple beers, tried to ignore my painful tummy.  Like, sharp very strong pain, not queeziness or gastro.  This pub reminded me of all the Vietnam War movies I always watched with my dad as a kid.  I felt like Robin Williams was going to wander in (from Good Morning Vietnam!) at any moment… talking about the formaldehyde in the beer.

There were a few Brits, married to Thai women (one of whom worked at this pub), and we had a nice chat.  Although they told me that Chiang Mai is much more relaxed than the south, which I agree with, and much less about tourism money- which I personally (in my very short time outside my bed) disagree with.  Every time I turned around, in this small moated city, there was someone trying to get me on a half day tour to bungee, see elephants or play with tigers.  Even at the Mandarin Oriental which shocked me.  The whole area is laid out funny.  I suppose if you’re in the area to ride elephants it’s one thing, but doing hotel sites in such a popular destination, I was surprised at what all the hype is about.  But perhaps I am jaded given I was unknowingly quite ill.  Bummer I didn’t eat one meal in all of Chiang Mai.  Or not?  :p  I can’t complain with the kilograms shed!

Monday I slept in until 11:00am, and by 7:00pm, I was done, exhausted.  Had another feverish terrible night not being hungry, with headache and severe abdomen pain.  I called the hotel doctor finally on Tuesday.  He couldn’t come until later but told me to pour myself half a coca cola and add salt.  I could hardly understand what he said let alone ask why.  But it worked.  My pain subsided and I slept another few hours.  Who knew!

When he came I had a 39 Celsius fever (103 F) and he was poking around and it was very painful.  Everything else was fine.  Not the dengue like I had previously self-diagnosed.  I now have loads of meds and have started to improve.  Actually feeling hungry which is nice but am scared to eat much.  And the painkillers he gave me (along with antibiotics, probiotics, super Tylenol and electrolytes) are either weak, or at least they wear off fast.  A vicodin is sounding pretty good now that I think about it.

Anyway, this is a downer email!  On to more excited events, I hope.  Happy to be en route south to Phuket.  I think the beaches here are going to blow doors on Krabi.

Oh!  Almost forgot!  The Mandarin Oriental Dhara Dhevi spa is touted to be the best in Thailand.  I decided to get the ‘Royal Thai’ massage because ‘when in Thailand’.  Well let me just say, aside from the tradition Thai pajamas you wear during (which I kind of wanted to steal)… there is NOTHING relaxing about the Thai massage.  Granted, I’m a woman and it wasn’t ‘that kind’ of Thai massage, but it hurt!  It’s just acupressure.  And the other options were Swedish, but that crazy smack you type of Swedish, or Aromatherapy, which I always thought was for wussies.

Hope to have better news to report from Phuket!

I must admit, there is a part of me that wishes I could sit back and enjoy a buffalo chicken wrap and Smithwicks and Jameson’s with Jacs right now.

(hint hint!)  xoxo  🙂 .Jameson’s.

See those tuk tuk guys parked closest to me?  I decided to take a squat for a moment after siting the Mandarin and the Peninsula, took a super cool river taxi (15 baht!), a walk round the Grand Palace and then through a chaotic market and here I sit under this banyan tree playing with the aperture settings on my camera.  This round of Bangkok, I’ve found myself in places where people don’t really speak any English.  But I was chilling here for a little while and many kind smiles (almost a symbolism of the Thai) were exchanged.

They were eating what I THINK were lychee.  They were maybe 20 meters away from me the whole time but then motioned over and gave me a lychee.  They were so kind!  It is truly incredible how you can communicate without speaking the same language!  Words cannot describe how much I love this.

I found myself grateful that I still had a bottle of water from my hotel, the Sukhothai, and the map that the guy from Four Seasons gave me five days ago…. with certain ‘landmarks’ circled.  I didn’t even mean for that to happen.

Oh, and I think we’re all aware of my magnet tradition?  I tried to haggle this poor guy on the street market outside the Grand Palace, as he was closing up shop on a 90 degree day… for his magnet.  It was 40 baht, and I thought… “he, I bet I can get him to take 20 baht!”.  Freaking ugly American!  They say to haggle at the markets (the actual markets, not side of the road shanty set-ups).  When I realized that 40 baht was about $1.25, I was slightly embarrassed.

Anyway, my trek home from Krabi yesterday back to Bangkok (on a Friday evening at 5:00pm), gave me a renewed sense, or maybe it reminded me, of humanity.  It took us forever, me and this old guy, totally by the book, NO english, other than to tell me “you pay toll”.  My big ass suitcase was bungie corded shut in the trunk, his car was overheating, he had the meter on.  Anyway, my meter was like 260 baht.  I couldn’t even bear that after the 1 1/2 hours we’d spent together.  I mean just think about all the stupid f-ing things we spend $10 on.  Every day.  I upped the ante and did my part.  I just about doubled it.

Same thing happened today.  And this is not a ‘go big or go home’ ego thing I’ve got going on, it’s humanitarian!  I’m way the frick up by the Grand Palace, my current hotel is kind of in a central Bangkok crap location… and no one knew where it was.  Hence, the importance of that water bottle and map!  Sweet tuk tuk driver asked me for 100 baht and I knew it was kind of far.  I don’t think he did.  When I showed him the map, he said 150 baht.  No worries, mate!  Seriously!  There is a lot of traffic here in Bangkok and he got lost.  We stopped on the main roads once we were in the vicinity, did a bit more non English communicating… and the guy never huffed or puffed.  Never did a thing but smile at me in the rear view window.  With all the pollution and exhaust going in his face.

We found my hotel and I gave him 500 baht.  This is less than $20, people.  If he hadn’t taken me, if he hadn’t persevered… I could be stranded in a big city, though he would never have asked for anything more than his 150 baht.  Why don’t these guys realize their value!???

Long story short is that this country is AMAZING.  And I’ve not even been north yet where I hear is where the real culture is.  SO excited.

Tomorrow I am up at 6:00am… haha, okay I’m up at 7:30am and headed to the Chatuchak Weekend Market.  Apparently, this is where I’ve been told many department store buyers actually buy their store inventory.  We shall see.  But a ‘discerning’ client raved and said I must go.  Her words: “Theory brand quality, where I bought all my friends [10] pashmina and it was $90 US.”

This trip just might be cooler than Israel was.  Especially given my political views as well as beliefs with regard to religion.

I’m totally down with the wai and buddhism.

See.  I get to Bangkok and the hell that was my yesterday (first the 25 hours flight and Hurricane Irene, and now Judi and the Ritz) are just distant memories.

Oh!  For those of you who like these movies: I stayed at Four Seasons Bangkok where the Hangover 2 crew did, and got some insight.  The movie was filmed at the Ritz Phulay Bay, they stayed there for a few months… now as much as it will pain me to do, I’ve got to see the stupid movie to see what I recognize.

Tonight, I’m going to venture into what my Aussie mate (a hotel rep) told me is ‘the dark side’ and head to Patpong. It is apparently what gives Thailand it’s bad rap and I’m going to give it a quick spin so I can give it my Liz spin.

So if this is the last you hear from me, you’ll know what happened.  Call Liam Neeson and have him come save me.

I’M JUST KIDDING, GRAM!

Sawatdee Kaa!

It is hard to believe that I am here in Southern Thailand right now.  I escaped Hurricane Irene and am told I was on the last flight out of JFK.  Everything feels and seems quite surreal.  As many of you know, (many of whom I have to thank!), LMC Direct is busier than ever and growing.  It’s awesome to witness but really intense at the same time.  A bit tough to keep up with in Thailand while I am literally on reverse time for the biz.  Such is life.

I can’t believe I made it here though, it was stressful and took forever!  13 hours to Tokyo, then another 7 to Bangkok.  Then when I arrived I had to deal with clients and the hurricane.  I started to question my sanity.  I really did.  Then I got some sleep and wandered out into Bangkok.  In just those four hours or so, I knew I was hooked.  Plus, the room service dim sum at Four Seasons was crazy good.

The best way I can describe this is that it is ‘otherworldly’.  The people and the wai (Thai practice of putting hands together with small bow as a respectful greeting, derived from their Buddhist influence), it’s so welcoming and warm.  The people (except my current butler who I will get to) are an absolute delight!  I really liked what little I saw of Bangkok and look forward to going back there tomorrow!  I will stay in a different part of town, close to the river and hopefully visit their most famous Wat.  And the weekend market.  And maybe if one particular friend could forward the name of his beloved tailor?

Currently, I am feeling a little trapped at the ‘just okay’ Ritz Reserve in Phulay Bay, near Krabi.  The food sucks.  And I’m not drinking as much as I used to (or trying!) so I can’t even drink my caloric intake until I leave.  Might be time to rethink that one as I am on night three here!  It’s a shame too.  They’ve done an incredible job with the resort (except my plunge pool is all dingy), but it’s all spread out and there’s not even a pretty beach.  Next week, I’ll be in Phuket and hope to report better news on that front!  The villa is quite extravagant, with an outdoor area, an outdoor bathtub, a room that is a shower, the plunge pool the ‘100 mirrors’.  But did I mention the food sucks?  And this whole butler thing is irritating.  If my little Judi gets on her knees one more time and tells me she’s worried for my health because I work too much, i might lose it.  And no, I don’t want to go on the tour to the stupid little island and have a picnic, especially with this crap you’re trying to pass off as ‘cuisine’.  And no, I don’t need you to pick me up and drive me to the gym.  And no, don’t pick me up in the morning and take me to breakfast.  I want you to leave me the F alone is what I want!   😡   I know, it’s their culture (although this is special: she, being Judi, has write-ups on her annoyance on Trip Advisor)… all I need next is for her to start asking me “how does that make you feel right now”.   😉  But I’m just really busy with work and need to keep up and see this place as a client would.  Which, most likely, none of mine ever will.  Must admit, it’s better for me to find out the hard way than to take a gamble and send one of my discerning clients here.  Remember the episode of Sex and The City, where Samantha dates a guy with a Thai housekeeper?  And she goes mental when it’s just Samantha in his house?  They should have assigned me that butler.

Sorry, I needed to vent.  I’ve been pent up here with my work and end of month reports for too long.  But the end of these days for me is near!  Very exciting news is the reuniting of two hard-working former yearbook editors, who’ve agreed to collaborate once again for the sake and sanity of LMC Direct.  I couldn’t be happier about that.

So back to Bangkok tomorrow, then up to Chiang Mai which I am REALLY looking forward to!  The Mandarin Oriental and with it being labor day perhaps work will CHILL out (except no, BH had to schedule DD meetings!) long enough for me to visit the tigers and elephants.  Because we all know how well I do with animals- especially large ones.  At least I can snap a pic or two from a distance.

I have learned to use the camera finally!  Just WAIT till you see my pictures!!!  I promise no slide show though (or uncomfortable look-over-the-shoulder screen saver show).

I have to go write an intro now for my newest and 9th client, who executed my LOA last night, and who I think are going to be perfect for LMC Direct.  Another productive work trip!

Karma works itself in magical ways.

We’ll just see if I have ‘sex sheets’ at my house when I get home!  I’m so totally kidding Tapper… I’m actually SO happy you’re holding down the fort!  Have a blast, enjoy the upper east side.  (laundry detergent is under the sink!)

Love to all.  xx

I am on the plane home!  Just woke up after sleeping, I think like 6 hours!  (again, thank you my beloved xanax).  Less than 3 hours to go!

I love this picture, by the way!  What I did not love was how long I ended up in it, and the three ‘lines’ it preceded.  What an ordeal!  Okay, so I bought a big a** carpet and some other little gifts, along with my purse and my carry-on FULL of US allowable various liquids.  Their airport people have zero friendliness and seem to try to talk you into being a suspicious person.  That was just line #1.  Weird.

I’ve slept off my annoyance, so I won’t let that experience dictate the tone of my email.  But let’s just say a few of those Israelis got a piece of my mind.  I had to get aggressive back with them, like when they took my computer away or when they unpacked all my things… I’ll just leave it at that.  But most of you can imagine how I can give out when pushed.  I asked questions and we all were laughing in the end and I learned a few things.  Like: you can pay a few shekels for VIP and avoid all that sh*t.  I got to the airport (after my taxi was stopped for passport check by man with machine gun) at 7:45pm, I got through 4th checkpoint about 10:15pm.  Plane left at 10:50pm.  No time for water or bathroom breaks!

My last day in Jerusalem, I felt pretty emotional, moved.  And I think we all know I’m completely non-religious and a bit ambivalent as to why it’s okay Israel occupies Palestine’s land.  BUT anyway I sat outside (78 degrees) at King David, overlooking the old city, where just the day before, I unexpectedly visited ancient history.  I saw the room of the Last Supper, the church Jesus prayed before ‘judgment’ :?:, the actual tomb of David (not expecting that one!), walked the Via Dolorosa: where Jesus carried the cross, then where he got those big nails put in his hands and feet, where he died, was washed up (which let me tell you, it was a trip to see these people bawling and kissing it), and then ultimately Jesus’s tomb.  I don’t know if humbling is the right word, but just ‘wow’ will suffice.  At the Wailing Wall (which I did not go to) and David’s tomb, the men and women have to go separate!  ???  AND the men’s side was always larger, even though there were more women praying, crying or visiting.  What’s up with that!!?

So I had three hotel sites yesterday, and had arrangements for a driver to collect me at 6:45pm (which I’ll get to later).  I sat having lunch after my meetings, with this insane view, doing my end-of-month reports, feeling like I cannot wait until I come back to this amazing place.  Really!  I’ve been offered accommodation at King David again, by my new bff, Benni the GM, if I’m flexible with my dates.

I did NOT go to the Masada, the Dead Sea, Haifa, Elat OR Bethlehem.  Which I know are ‘musts’, and I truly wanted to but was okay with it KNOWING I will come back here.  And soon!  I did what I came to do, I can tell any of my clients about the hotels, security, airports, distances, sites and restaurants. I did not expect to have this reaction to being in this part of the world and will save those other ‘musts’ for my next trip.

Which leads me to my incredible new friend, Hussein.  He is the driver at The American Colony Hotel, and an Israeli Palestinian.  I met him two days ago after my visit and lunch (next to Tony Blair), he drove me back to my hotel. We had a chat about how in 6 days in Israel, I had not yet had one falafel or schwarma or any authentic cuisine.  He was appalled.  As often as I eat it in NY, it’s not the same.  So we made arrangements for him to come pick me up and take me to French Hill, for the ‘best’ falafel, and then to the airport.  King David’s hotel staff’s mouths were watering when they learned where I was going!  🙂

It WAS the best thing ever.  The ‘place’ was like a mix of that Brazilian make-shift food car Nilmar took Jennie and I to in SF  🙂  and a Hale & Hearty where you go down the line and tell him what to put in your salad.  The falafels are little baby ones! I knew from the first bite I will forever crave this.

On the drive to airport, I learned all about Hussein’s family and Muslim religion.  His wife and kids, etc… how it works for their family life.  He has 4 boys, which means that when he approves of whom they marry, he has to give the girl $15k in gold and $5k in clothes.  At least.  And this is for each male child!  His two older children are at university, even the daughter.  When he heard my age (because he originally thought I was maybe 28, ha!) it then became a lecture, “Leez, you must find mans and marry.  Quickly.”  Too funny.  We had such great open conversation!  We spoke of the Palestinian parts of the area too.  I’m excited of course about Bethlehem, but now Ramallah as well! Absolutely fascinating.  A little irritating that Israelis are allowed to enter Palestine, but do not allow them to cross those borders in.  Any of them.

Anyway, needless to say, I had an unexpectedly FABULOUS time.  And in the words of one of my favorite people: “I f***ing LOVE Jerusalem”.  Me too!!!  And good timing being there Monday to Thursday, avoiding shabbat.

The tone of this email is quite zealous, I know.  Not to worry… I’m not running off and joining any groups or anything!  It was just really incredible and think it’s one of the most inspiring places I’ve been.  Me, Ms. Non-Religious.  I think that’s why Jerusalem is so incredible, it’s where they all come and live together, albeit separate, but together.  I learned SO much.

As cranked as I was at the aggressive IDF-type Israeli airport people….. it was all very worth it.